


Can You Hear My Heart

by thatdoesnotevenmakesense



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Deaf Percy Jackson, High School AU, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mute Nico di Angelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdoesnotevenmakesense/pseuds/thatdoesnotevenmakesense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Nico lost his mother and sister he shut himself out, or in is the operative word in this case. He became selectively mute. Since his family died he had moved from school to school, foster house to foster house. Eventually he ends up at Easton High, under the care of an old woman named Giovanna. Here he meets a persistent hearing impaired kid named Percy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nico

                Personally I never really liked being the new kid. Well, to be fair I never liked anyone, so that statement didn't hold much value, if any. I mean, some of my teachers were alright and all but I’m definitely not a people person, that’s for sure.

                I guess it all kinda started when I lost my mother and sister. Not that I recall being particularly social before then either. We were in the car on our way back from Venice Beach down in Florida, making our way back to our Hotel.  We had been down there on vacation for two days, having seen Disneyland on the first (Which was a shame because know I see that damn Mickey Mouse and all I can think about is the crash).We had to cut our day trip to the beach short that day because a serious storm made its way to Florida. We didn't think much of it when we left the beach. Just a few dark clouds, how bad could they be?

                It turned out to be a hurricane. We didn't know how bad it was at the time though. I remember thinking about how beautiful it looked that night. I was young and naïve I suppose.

                It was my fault. God it was my fault. I shouldn't have- I just should have kept quiet. I was so interested in the dam lightning I was so stupid. I thought it would be a good idea to point it out to my mother and sister who were sitting in the front seats. Bianca my sister, she was yelling at me to sit back down (I had unbuckled myself and leaned over the arm rest I was so excited). I was upset that she wasn't hearing me out. I had been so excited and she just killed it. My excitement transmuted into anger. We began to yell, no scream at each other. My mother got hung up on getting us to stop fighting and in that frantic moment lightning struck bright, cutting through the sky. With everything happening all at once my mother lost control of the car. We crashed into a nearby tree.

                I was fine and dear God I wish I wasn't because the pain I feel having to go on, having to go from school to school, foster home to foster home. I just, I feel like I can’t anymore. I keep telling myself the next place is going to be different, the next family, the next school, but they never are. No one understands. They treat me like an idiot.

                Oh well, that’s what I get for being selectively mute.

                So this is the latest school, Easton High. Honestly, it’s nothing special. It’s a small high school in a small town and it’s very unimpressive. The people in the town are born here, live here, get a minimum wage job here, and also, very unimpressively, die here. Yeah, I’m cryptic like that. Maybe I get it from my dad, but hey who would know seeing as he left us after I was born.

                As I was saying the school itself is underwhelming, tight hallways, unimaginably minuscule lockers, classrooms painted white to fight wars against any individuality you might possess. The chairs are uncomfortable and the teachers drone on as if they run on money and they certainly haven’t been getting enough.

                That brings me to the people. Like I had said, it’s a small town and there aren't many people. Would I say there aren't cliques? Not necessarily. There are groups, that’s for sure, I mean people like hanging out with other people who are like them. It means less conflict at least. So you have not so much jocks, but athletes and sports enthusiasts, your ‘popular girls’ (who are popular just because they’re unnaturally nice, not because they’re self-absorbed or whatever judgmental assholes say about popular girls these days), your smart kids, you know the whole lot. They’re all really nice though. The cliques don’t intimidate or bully each other, everyone grew up together. They all actually know each other and get along. It’s a nice environment, sure, but it doesn't help me feel any better about not belonging there.

                It is hard and honestly a little annoying. People always ask questions. I always hated the questions (Wow Nico is there anything you don’t hate). Normally I get an introduction (It’s exponentially harder when I don’t, but I did here at Easton), my homeroom teacher will tell the class about me being mute, and my other teachers get emails explaining my condition. But my moronic classmates still try to ask me questions. “Why don’t you speak?” is a popular one. I don’t know what they actually expect.

                At this point it’s what, my third day here? I’m in my World History class (One of my favourites actually) and I sit in the back. Now there’s no assigned seats as it’s a very small class, 12, maybe 13 people, so we pop a squat where ever. I prefer the back, mostly because there are generally less people, I mean I’m not going to be called on, but the teacher looks at me less. So anyway, I’m sitting in my seat in the back (We've had this class twice now, the schedule works in a way that you don’t see the same classes every day and they sort of rotate) and some kid walks up to me and points at my desk.

                He wasn't considerably tall, but taller than the average guy so probably about 5’9” or 10”. He had short, sort of choppy hair or maybe messy was a better word for it. He had these intense greenish blue eyes that seemed to take in everything around him devouring the classroom as to understand it and spit it back out in disappointment. In other words I thought they were really pretty. He had high cheekbones, not that they were defined or evident but they made his face seem almost angel like (which so wasn't fair because it’s my job to look like some sort of twisted angel from hell wtf dude).He was wearing a baggy hoodie that read Easton Swimmers across the chest, so I’m assuming, and this is just a wild guess, he’s on the swim team. From what he could see under the hoodie he did seem to have that swimmer build. But I hadn't seen him with the athletes at lunch or anything. Was he new too perhaps?

                One of the kids, Jason I think, in the front of the class saw what was going on out of the corner of his eye and turned towards us in his seat.

“Nico, that’s Percy’s seat.” Okay so he wasn't new. I made a face at Jason along the lines of ‘What the hell why didn't you tell me before?’ He seemed to understand my look, shrugged and replied, “Sorry man.”

                This kid, err Percy, is still standing awkwardly close to my desk, or well his desk that I happen to be sitting in. Another kid noticed Will talking with, or um, at us. The other kid started to laugh. I looked at her and scrunched my nose in disgust (not at her but at my misunderstanding of the situation and what was so funny that she needed to laugh at me).

“You two should hang out, you’d be good friends.” She said when she was done giggling.

                That whole time Percy hadn't looked away from the desk or me. I looked up at him confused.

“I should probably add that he’s deaf, huh?” Will said, not looking at me but the girl who had been laughing at Percy and I (was it Piper maybe?), which made me uncomfortable, as if I was some stupid punchline.

                I looked back up Percy. No wonder his eyes looked so ravaging, they were really all he had. I looked back down at the desk, got up, and sat in the other back corner, four seats across from where I had been sitting for the past two days know but whatever who even cares. That Percy kid looked at me, confused as I sat down. He was still standing by the desk rather than sitting in it. I shot him a confused scowl and he pointed to the chair. I shrugged my shoulders aggravatedly. What was I a fucking mind reader? Maybe this is how other people feel when trying to talk to me. I’m going to dismiss that thought and continue to be agitated. He leaned down and picked up a binder that was in the mental basket attached to the bottom of the chair. He gave me an embarrassed smile and shrugged.

                I guess he just wanted his binder? What the hell do I know about people?

                The section we’re in right now is Ancient Greece. It’s really very interesting and all- is he looking at me? What’s with this kid? I looked over at him and made eye contact. Big mistake. Looking that Percy kid in the eyes is like standing in front of a 10 foot wave unable to move, just waiting for it to crash over you, crush you.

                I looked away. Greece. Loving that Ancient Greece. Pericles, Xerxes and Darius the third, all that mythology wow. Those demigods too Theseus, Heracles, Perseus- Perc- was that guys looking at me again? What’s with him? I elected not to look over at him, but I could see him in my peripheral. Eventually he looked back down at his binder and began to write. I don’t know what he could be writing, the last time the teacher (Mr. Brunner) wrote something on the board was what, 10 minutes ago? He’s just been talking since then.

                Whatever what do I care? Do what you want Percy.

                I was fairly successful in ignoring him for the rest of class. Once Mr. Brunner got really into the mythology it was hard not to give him your full attention. He was, well, passionate to say the least. The myth were interesting. I didn't like that one music god, Apollo I believe. He and Pan had a music completion because someone was saying that Pan was better at his panpipes ((a wind instrument) which he made, so of course he would be better)) than Apollo was at his lyre (a sting instrument). Apollo got mad and demanded a competition to prove who is the better player. Long story short Pan was whooping Apollo’s ass (big surprise) and Apollo freaked and was like, ‘Okay whoever wins this last round wins’ and Pan agrees and Apollo hits him with ‘Okay the last round goes to whoever can strum their instrument the best’ and of course, Pan loses and Apollo SKINS HIM ALIVE AND NAILS IT TO A FUCKING TREE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. He also fucking killed Achilles the greatest fucking hero ever. Apollo fucking appalls me.

                I like Hades. Other than the fact he kidnaps Persephone (but hey guess what Persephone’s father, Zeus gave her to Hades to begin with so how great of a guy is he?) he’s a pretty chill guy. He’s known for being clear headed and reliable. He also whispers to plants to make them grow as there’s no sun in the underworld. He named his giant three headed dog Spot. I mean he got stuck with the shittiest position, the underworld, and the best was given to his youngest brother, Zeus. I’d probably be a little peeved too honestly.

                In the midst of the myth of Echo and Narcissus the bell unfortunately rang. Easton had those bells that were actually, ya know, bells they didn't like play through speakers they were real bells in the class room and boy were they loud. It would take some getting used to. I gather my books and walk out of class, my head still stuck in 700 BC. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

                This kid I swear to God.

                I squinted at him pointedly. He smiled at me. What was with this dude? I shrugged at him aggressively. He look confused for a moment but flashed his smile again, undeterred. Seriously, were hearing impaired people just straight up ebullient all the time, wtf?

               We were standing in the hall way just well, standing there. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this?

               Thank the Lord above for Annabeth Chase. She showed me around on the first day of school and was very benevolent. She put a hand on my shoulder and looked back between Percy and I. She caught on quick and started to move her hands rapidly at Percy in what I could only assume was sign language. She pointed at me a few times and made a turning motion around her throat a few times too which I’m assuming meant mute.

               Eventually Percy caught on and looked right at me. Those fucking eyes. He looked almost solemn for a moment, taking me in and attempting to understand. He must have noticed concern in my face as his expression softened and he smiled. Not his usual big toothy smile, but a soft, genuinely understanding smile. I thanked Annabeth and walked off to Art class.

                Unfortunately, he followed. Of fucking course. I think I’m cursed at this point, honestly.

               At least I hadn't sat in his seat, or if I did he didn't mention it. He only actually made me move because his books were there. Well he didn't make me move I just misunderstood the situation. Not that I’d admit that it was my fault. I didn't think my seat was going to be his anyway. I sat in the back by myself, 2 tables away from what would be considered the front of class. There were two rows of tables, 5 tables in each row. The “front” of class was where the SMART board was. Usually it was just used to play Pandora for us. It was the teacher’s Pandora though, so the music wasn't all that great. Anyway, I sat at the fifth table in the second row (the row nearest the door and the row one back from the ‘SMART board row’, and the table the furthest away from the door). I was completely isolated from the other students, from anyone who could bother me. Except Percy.

                That guy just won’t take a hint will he? We are literally the worst possible people to have ever met and attempted to socialize. We could not be less compatible. But here he is intentionally sitting right across from me. Christ this kid is hard to shake.

                He smiled at me as he sat down. He used one hand to grab the chair and decline down into his seat, while using the other hand to wave at me. I stared at him blankly. I was agitated and not amused. He cocked his head at my expression. His eyes were serious and concerned. I looked back down at my paper. It was the fourth day of school (I had missed the first day when I was getting settled with my new foster family, a lovely old woman named Giovanna. She spoke some English, but mostly she spoke Italian, which wasn’t difficult to understand as my mother had spoken it to me as a kid. I liked her. She didn't try to coax words out of me. She understood. She had lost her family too. We respect each other.), so we weren’t doing any projects yet. I sat doodling on a piece of printer paper I had been given. Percy had a sketch book he pulled out from inside his binder. He turned to a picture he had already started and began to add more detail. It wasn't until the end of class I actually noticed the picture was of me. I was taken aback. Why would he draw me? My face contorted into the epitome of confusion. Percy glanced up at me which I’m assuming he had been doing all class. He laughed and it sounded a little funny, not to be rude or anything. He turned his sketch book around so that it was facing me. He was actually good. Not like adequate good like me, he was phenomenal. He had a realistic style, while I was more interested in cartoons. He had to perspectives, one of me from the side with my head leaning into my hand, completely absorbed in Mr. Brunner’s lesson, the other from this class in which I’m looking down at my doodles with my neck resting in my hand and my head slightly tilted.  There was something written at the bottom.

                “Friends?”

                I wasn't quite sure how to feel to put it honestly and of course I did what I always did when I didn't know what to feel: I got mad. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes. Then in an instant completely devoid of any fluid thought process I ripped the paper from the sketch book, stood up, crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash. I then returned tot he table, gathered my things and sat at the table that had been in front of us by myself the rest of the block. I was fuming. 

                I have a very bad habit in which I always assume i'm in the right. Maybe it's a sort of superiority thing but I will always think I'm right, even if I KNOW I'm wrong. I'm right, always. Just then in that moment, I was wrong. I was beyond wrong, and I knew it. It only made me hate him more. He thinks he can change me, change the way I think, the way I feel? No.

                Right or wrong I will always hate you Percy Jackson.


	2. Percy

                I never really liked new kids. Not that I had anything against them or anything communicating was just difficult. Most people don’t actually speak or at least understand sign language. Not that I really minded communication through writing it was just inconvenient and time consuming. Not to mention my handwriting wasn’t the best.

                Usually Annabeth will tell me when there is a new kid. Usually Annabeth tells me everything because she’s the only person in the school who speaks sign language. She’ll tell me about swim meets and practices if the suddenly get canceled or something, or what they said on the morning announcements, stuff like that.

                I was honestly taken aback when I first saw someone sitting in my seat. Not that I owned the seat or anything, I sat there the first day, and had been absent the past two for, well, personal reasons. It wasn’t important. 

                He was light skinned and fairly thin for a teenager. He had sharp features and dark eyes which made him seem almost dead. He looked directly at me, but it felt like he was looking through me. His black eyes weren’t looking at me, no they were analyzing, calculating. They were judging me to my core, my soul. I wanted to look away, anywhere but his eyes, but I needed his eye contact to communicate.

                Genius me left my binder under the seat. We didn’t have test to study for or anything I was just worried. Not that I thought someone would take it or anything I just worry about things. I’m that person.

                This leads to my favourite part of the day: communication. I didn’t know what to other than point. Honestly I’m good at communicating what I meant to people, sign language or just plain old charades, but those eyes man. Something caught his attention and he ended up looking away. I just stood there, albeit, dumbstruck. He shot somebody an agitated look and rolled his eyes. He changed his focus and became visibly uncomfortable. He looked back up at me.

                He got up, out of the seat and walked to the other back corner desk, four away from the one I accidently made him get up from. He looked back over and I was still standing there. He shot me and confused glare and I pointed at the chair. He shrugged, still agitated. I think he was stuck in a perpetual state of agitation, to be honest. It was actually a little funny, not to be mean or anything. I bent down and got my binder from the basket under the seat. I felt kinda bad for the kid, and honestly sorta embarrassed that I made him move and got dumbstruck. I smiled awkwardly and sat down.

                He seemed really irked after having to get up though. I never liked when people were mad at me, but I didn’t understand why he was mad. He just had to move over a few seats, right? I mean I don’t know anything about him, so I’m sure he has his reasons. I just didn’t like to think he was going to be so irritated for the rest of his life. A weird train of thought, I know but that’s a horrible way to live, and I felt bad.

                That’s another reason I didn’t like new kids (that much), I don’t know anything about them. I’ve known my other classmates since we were kids. We all know each other. Eventually we get to know the new kids that turn up (which aren’t very many, I think we’ve had about 4 or 5 since kindergarten), but this didn’t seem keen on getting cozy with anyone. Like I said, a not so great way to live.

                So the question that arose is how do I get this complete stranger to warm up and fell not so terrible? Of course, fucking draw the kid. Not like that was an invasion of privacy or anything. So I sat in class looking up at the board to see what Mr. Brunner had written a few times (If he was talking I couldn’t really do much. Neither my family, nor the school could afford to hire a translator for me, and I can’t afford to go to a school for hearing impaired kids. So typically I just drew.), but I was mostly looking over at that angry kid (not a very nice way to identify someone, I know but I didn’t exactly have a name). I had actually gotten pretty far before the kid noticed me staring.

                I was taken aback but then I gave him a reassuring smile. Most people thought I was an idiot. I smiled too much and couldn’t communicate. Oddly enough, people will actually assume people are stupid if they can’t communicate with them, much like how we feel about animals or pets. Like when you tell your dog to sit and it doesn’t understand, you think it’s just stupid. I hated that.

                Eventually he turned his attention back to Mr. Brunner’s lecture. He seemed interested, even though his posture suggested he was bored. The whole, resting your head in your hand thing. At one point he made a really repulsed face. I tried to look at Mr. Brunner and see what he was talking about, but I couldn’t tell. I could read lips adequately, but not from this far away. I diminished the thought and went back to drawing.

                I almost didn’t notice class ending, being absorbed in the drawing, but I did happen to look up to see the kid, but he was gone, as well as the rest of the class. I gathered my things and ran to the hallway, hoping I wasn’t late, and hoping I could find that kid to give him the picture. There were still a decent amount of kids in the hallway when I got there, and when I did spot him he wasn’t too far away, though he did seem to walk fairly quickly. A little too quick. I jogged to catch up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

                He looked at me as if I had just stabbed him in the shoulder rather than tap it. No physical contact, got it. I smiled having deciphered SOMETHING about the kid. He shrugged at me with plenty of irritation. Why wasn’t he saying anything? I could read his lips from here. Did he know I was deaf? Had somebody told him? Maybe earlier when I was standing over him at the desk with my binder under it. I was fairly confused, but thank the Lord above for Annabeth Chase. She must’ve seen us standing there, well just standing there.

                She put a hand on the kid’s shoulder (she had most likely showed him around the first day, as she was the smartest kid in our grade and could afford a day out of her classes) and looked back and forth between the two of us. She got what was going on pretty quick (like I said, smartest kid in the grade). She then began signing at me.

                ‘This is Nico’ she signed by pointing to him a spelling his name. He was pretty pale for an Italian. I mean he could’ve just had an Italian name, but he had that Italian kind of look (other than his skin, like I mentioned). I nodded to indicate my understanding. She continued.

She pointed to the kid, Nico, made the letter ‘I’ in front of her chest and pushed it out indicating the word ‘is’. I started signing back, telling her the use of linking verbs like is aren’t necessary. It’s hard to understand sign language as someone who can hear. When you sign you sign for understanding, the structure didn’t need to be correct, which was hard for Annabeth to understand as she was a very structure person. She understood what I had told her and signed that this was a discussion for later and that they’re going to be late or class. I signed alright back. She again pointed to Nico (starting over from the beginning of the sentence I interrupted), signed is, and ran the back of her right hand over the palm of the left. She literally told me he was new. I knew that. You see what I mean about the whole stupid thing? I mean Annabeth is the best when it comes to not treating me like a moron, but I can tell when she gets agitated.  

                This time she skipped the sentence structure all together and just curled her pointer finger and twisted it at her neck.

                Oh.

                He’s mute.

                OH.

That explains a lot. I looked back over to Nico. I wasn’t sure to feel bad, or confused or what. I actually felt like I knew even less about him. I forgot I was staring until I saw how uncomfortable he looked. I smiled at him to try to reassure him, of what, I don’t know, but it seemed to help. He said something to Annabeth and walked off.

                She very quickly signed something about Nico, Art Class, and together. I almost laughed. Just my luck. I again jogged to keep up with him. He glanced in my direction and turned away. He began to walk faster. He sat considerably far away. Not like sort of close to the general cluster of people, he sat intentionally further away. Far enough for people to understand that he didn’t want to be bothered. But not Percy, no. I was that guy. I was gonna befriend this kid if it was the last thing I ever did.

                I sat across from him. I of course smiled at him and I think he actually hates me more every time I do. Interesting. What a strange guy. He absorbed himself in his work. I liked his style. It seemed derived from some form of anime. It didn’t look like anime, but it looked as if it had mutated into fifty different styles since he started, and it seemed like he started with anime. I don’t know it makes sense to me.

                I decided (stupidly) to draw him again. I hadn’t taken up the whole page in history, so I broke out my sketch book and began to draw. I spent some time touching up the first one, but not long. I spent the rest of the period studying Nico from a peculiar angle, as he was looking down at his work with his neck resting in his hand. He looked very different when he wasn’t being visibly put off by everyone. He seemed almost calm, serene even. Eventually however, my luck wore out. He at some point looked over and saw what I was drawing.

                I didn’t notice until I glanced up as I had been doing all block. He looked beyond confused. I think I laugh when I get nervous because his eyes were burning into my skull, and what did I do? I fucking laughed. That’s not fight or flight, that’s just idiotic. I don’t know what my laugh sounds like. I can feel my vocal chords vibrating and everything, but it don’t know how its sounds, or even how loud it is. I scribbled a little question at the bottom and turned the picture so it was facing him. He analyzed the picture. Eventually his eyes fell the bottom. I had written “Friends?”

                He looked confused but that quickly changed into anger, no fury. He ripped the paper from my book, crumpled it, got up, and threw it away. After he returned he gathered up his things and sat at the other back table, silently fuming for the rest of the period.

I didn’t understand. What did I do wrong? Jesus Christ Nico you were gonna be a tough one to crack. I mean, was I wrong? Had I invaded his privacy? It didn’t matter.

                Whether I had been right, whether I had been wrong, I will never stop trying to be friends with you Nico di Angelo.


	3. Nico

I wasn’t exactly a happy camper the rest of the day. Every little thing that happened that I would consider a minor inconvenience turned into a catastrophe. At one point I dropped my pencil in the hall way and almost punched the kid who moved to pick it up for me. It wasn't a good day, but it did eventually come to an end, the school part anyway.

                I returned home in a vexed mood. While I was about to go learn every curse word or vulgar name to call someone in sign language, I was greeted by Giovanna. I realized something. I had something to lose. All my other homes I couldn't really care less what happened. But here, with Giovanna, this is the first place I actually like, the first place I feel understood. If I get in trouble in Easton, I’m out and off to another house.

                After greeting Giovanna (by which I mean smiling at her and nodding, sometimes even grasping her hands and shaking them), I elected to still learn some sign language. I turned on my laptop, sat down on my bed, and started to learn. While I didn't learn any swears or rude names, I attempted to learn the alphabet. It was actually surprisingly easy. It took a few tries, but eventually I got the hang of it. For the first time in years I found a language I can actually speak.

                Since I was picking it up so fast I decided to learn a few other things too. I found a website where you ca look up a word and it shows you a video on how to sign it. How awesome is that. I looked up words like, mute (which was what Annabeth was signing to Percy), the 5 W’s (Who, What, When, Where, Why), thank you, your welcome, please, everyday kind of stuff.

                Now don’t think I’m just gonna let that Percy kid off so easily. I swore I was gonna hate that kid, and hate him I will. I don’t go back on my promises, especially the ones I make to myself.  What can I say, I’m stubborn and I've got a lot of drive.

                I don’t however, hate him anymore. Which is a problem. Part of the reason I don’t go back on promises is because it makes you seem changeable. I’m too headstrong for that. Plus, no one would take me seriously. So I had to hate Percy. Whether I wanted to or not, and in retrospect, I really didn't.

                Eventually my train of thought was interrupted Giovanna calling me down for dinner. I closed my laptop, got off my bed, and went downstairs. She cooked a lot of Italian food. Not that I didn't like Italian, but pasta every night was a bit much. She didn't make her own pasta, but she did make her own sauce (apparently not a lot of people make their own pasta because it’s a “tedious and difficult” task, but hey what do I know I just assumed ((She uses De Cecco for her pasta if you were wondering)), and it was amazing. Compared to shit like Ragu and Prego it was incomparably superior.  But not every night for 6 nights.

                Tonight however, I was pleasantly surprised by a salad. She explained that she used salt water as a dressing. Hesitant, it took a bite. It wasn't bad. It might even beat Ranch dressing as my favourite salad dressing. I ate and listened to her talk about Italy and her family. I loved how she could just go on and on. Sometimes she would pause to make sure I understood (I only knew so much Italian) and I would nod. So she would continue.

                It felt like home. She didn't have any kids, or any other foster children in her care, which made me feel lonely at times. I missed the presence a sibling could bring.

                I excused myself from the table and smiled in appreciation for the meal. As I walked up the stairs my smile wavered. I didn't like thinking about Bianca. It always made me feel empty.  I closed the door behind me when I got to my room. I fell face first onto my bed.

                My depression didn't actually hit ‘till a few years ago. I hated it. It was like being sucked dry. It made me lifeless. I lost my drive, my motivation. I was withered down to nothing. I became the personification of “whatever”. There was nothing I could do about it.

I decided to sleep. Hopefully I’d be better in the morning. It’s gonna take everything I've got to hate Percy Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a short one guys 


	4. Percy

                The rest of the day seemed sort of bland. Nico was different. Every day was the same, same kids, same classes, there was no change. Nico shook things up. I liked that. Maybe even a bit too much.

                That was something to deal with at a different time. Eventually the school day ended and I went home. Like every day I wish it hadn't. I hated going home because it meant seeing Gabe.

                Describing Gabe was not fun or easy. He was the human personification of a sweaty asshole. He smelled, he was a good for nothing moocher, and worst of all he treated my mother like crap. And I hated him. No, I loathed him to the core.

                Entering my home was stepping onto a battle ground I was always so much less than prepared. My mother always tried her best. She submits to him. I detest when she does, but I know she’s doing it for me. She’s trying to avoid conflict and keep me safe. But dear God I just want it all to stop.

                Their latest fight was over me actually, which made me uncomfortable. It started when I got home from the first day of school and was still going. It was about my hearing, or lack thereof. Gabe doesn't like that he doesn't understand sign language. He thinks that when my mother and I are signing to each other we are saying shit about him, and I won’t exactly say we’re not. He finally lost and told my mom he got me a cochlear ear implant.

                Now, these implants are anything but cheap. They can range from some $45,000 to $125,000 dollars. My mother freaked out and asked where he got the money. He said he was saving it for a while, but neither of us believed it.

                I didn't like when they yelled. Not that I could hear them, but I could see them screaming and it was scarier to see them shouting and not hearing it. I never wanted to hear it. I never wanted implants.

                That was the other thing, I didn't want to hear. It sounds ridiculous but I was just so used to being deaf that hearing-I just couldn't imagine it. I wasn't ready. I just didn't want to hear. I don’t have a real reason why, but I don’t feel like I need one. I don’t have to justify myself it’s my hearing. My mom understood this and tried defending me in that regard as well. Gabe wasn't happy.

                So mom and Gabe fought. They screamed and yelled and I stood in the kitchen doorway until I couldn't anymore. I couldn't watch them. It was like watching the Titanic. You now it’s going to sink. I knew my mother was going to lose. So I left. I walked from the kitchen doorway to the hall to my room. I fell back onto my bed and looked at the ceiling. I wish I could be anywhere but here. I've actually entertained the idea of running away but I couldn't do that to my mom. It would break her heart and I could never do that to her. After all she’s done for me.

                But that doesn't mean I didn't want to be gone. Maybe that’s what Nico felt like. Nico thinking about him felt…weird? Not bad weird but definitely different. It kinda felt like how I had once felt about Annabeth a long time ago. Which made me nervous, because I knew what that was, that was-

                My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden thud. It scared me because I felt it through the floor, all the way from the kitchen. Electricity shot up through my spine and I jolted to the kitchen. When I got there everything was a blur. I don’t remember opening my bedroom door or walking down the hall (more like running honestly). I was just there.

                She was on the ground. She wasn't moving. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't processing. I grabbed Gabe before I could think. Before I knew what I was doing he was on the ground. He was not still, like my mother. I stood there confused, possessed by an unknown anger. He grabbed me by my shirt and lifted me.

                I looked him in the eyes. Again? Would you do this again? I was ready. My body was tensing up, ready to be thrown. I could  already feel the tile floor slamming against me.

                He let go of me.  I stood.

                He said something and spit on me. I looked over to my mother. She hadn't gotten up but she moved her head and was looking at me. I moved over to her. Squatting I wrapped my arm under hers and lifted her up. Her head was bruised but not bleeding. Her eyes were red and puffy. I wiped a tear from her face and put my forehead against hers. She shook. She cusped my face and looked me in the eyes. It’s funny how different people’s eyes are.

                Gabe’s, my mother’s, Annabeth’s, Nico’s they were all so different from each other, even in the way they made me feel. Gabe’s eyes filled me with an unquenchable abhorrence. My mother’s were soft and reassuring. Annabeth’s were strong, smart, fierce, questioning, even calculating at times. Nico’s were death and everything it brought, even reassurance.

                Nico di Angelo you are quite the puzzle, and I’m not quite sure what to do with you. If I do, if I do, uh, love Nico, well I’m not quite sure what to do.

                What kind of person falls in love with someone after knowing them for a day? This is ridiculous, and I don’t have time to think about it. My mother had gotten up onto her feet. I guided her out of the kitchen. The bedroom door was closed, meaning Gabe had taken the bed. My mother was just not going to argue. She moved against my grip towards the couch but I nudged against it. She looked at my confused and signed why to me and I just led her to my room. I opened the door and pointed to my bed.

                ‘No Percy’ she signed

                 I nodded and led her to the bed.

                ‘Sleep. I’ll take the couch.’

                ‘Percy’

                ‘Sleep. I love you.’

                She smiled and signed, ‘I love you too.’ I smiled in return and left, closing the door behind me. I went into the living room, passing the couch and heading towards the closet for a blanket. Once the blanket was received I plopped down on to the couch for some nice time alone with my thoughts.

                I wasn't particularly fond of thinking about my home life, so I figured I might as well deal with whatever the fuck is going on with Nico. I mean, I know this is what I felt before when I had a crush on Annabeth but I had known her for years. I mean it wasn't the fact he was a guy or anything, I kinda figured I wasn't all that straight. Not that I've been particularly attracted to guys, but I don’t really see how you could only be attracted to one gender. I don’t know the whole idea seemed really silly. But, to be fair I’m sure straight people think the same thing about people who are attracted to multiple genders. Surprise, Percy’s pansexual.

                What was bothering me about it was how quickly I fell in love, err, infatuation? I don’t know what to call it. I hardly know Nico. Everything was going much too fast. Nico fucking hated me for all I know. Fuck this is too much to deal with right now. I’m not in love with Nico di Angelo, that’s what I decided. I elected that it was as good of a time as any to go to bed. Hopefully whatever my feelings are will be settled in the morning. It’s gonna take everything I've got to not fall for Nico di Angelo.


	5. Nico

                My first few blocks dragged on. I wasn’t fond of Algebra or Gym (especially not Gym (unless its floor hockey because I’m fucking stellar at defense let me tell you)), so they took what felt like years to come to an end. For once didn’t want Gym to end (even though we were playing kickball and I got hit in the head with the ball twice) because it ment going to History. I mean I was excited about learning about Archimedes and Euclid and all those Ancient Greek geniuses, but I really didn’t want to see Percy. I didn’t know what to do or say. Mostly when I decide to hate someone, I continue to actually hate them. But no, I had to feel bad for this Percy kid. I have to pretend to hate him, but no go as far as to getting moved to a new home. This is the problem.

                Though I wanted to put off seeing Percy for the rest of my life, the bell did unfortunately ring, and I did have to unfortunately leave. I walked through the congested hallway, trying to avoid physical contact with the molasses adjacent freshmen. Was it really that hard to move at any pace faster than agonizing shuffle? Honestly. I did have to push through some kids by my locker, which of course put me on edge. Great, just what I needed some more general agitation, great. I got my binder and History textbook, made my way back through the kids surrounding my locker (who parted out of the way this time), and went to class.

                I sat at the desk I had relocated to the previous class. Percy was not in class yet and my disgustingly optimistic nature kicked in, hoping he would not be here today. I was not so lucky. I looked up from my desk (I had been getting my textbook and binder situated) just as he walked in. He looked around the room and locked eyes with me, smiling afterward. Moron.

                Wait was he, was he walking over here? No. Don’t. Don’t, Jesus Christ. Go fucking sit where you did before what the fuck are you doing.

                Much to my internal dismay he sat in the desk next to mine. He set his binder on his desk and neatly put his pencil in the divot designated for it. He looked over. I was staring. He furrowed his eyebrows in a way that was best described as the visual representation of ‘What?’. I responded by spelling. I wasn’t very fast, and I’m pretty sure I mixed ‘r’ and ‘t’, but other than that I think he got the message, ‘Nothing’.

                He looked a little bewildered, but eventually looked at me with a grin. What was sign language for ‘shut up’ or ‘stop grinning you jubilant piece of shit’? I would have to learn. He signed ‘OK’ in response, and returned his attention to his belongings. The bell rung students shuffled in, and Mr. Burner started his lecture on Archimedes’ screw.

                Now the screw was very interesting as it can actually get water uphill. Like, I couldn’t do that today with my knowledge and technology, but way back in Ancient Greece Archimedes is sitting there like, ”I’m gonna fucking bring water uphill try to fucking stop me.”. I don’t know I just think it’s cool.

                That’s when I got hit in the head. Percy, being an interruptive little shit decided it was a good idea to throw a goddamn paper at my head. It hit me and landed on my desk. I glared over at him and he pointed at it. Yeah no shit I can see that you just threw this at me, and? He moved his hands in a gesture that seemed to indicate opening. Ugh. The worst part is I actually opened it.

                “Hey”

                This kid just hit me in the head during the one class I actually find interesting, to say hey? What the fuck? I responded very angrily, crumpled the paper back up, and threw the note at his head. He looked down at it and opened it. I, very eloquently might I add, told him to shove an entire tree up his ass. He spent a lot of time just sitting there staring at it. I in return, spent a fair amount of time staring at him. This is ridiculous. I ripped a paper out my binder and wrote on it. After I crumpled it I promptly threw it at his head, unfortunately missing, and sending it past his desk. He looked over at me, and then to the second note, which he bent over to pick up. He unfolded it and stared at it again.

                Now, he picked up his pencil and wrote something on the second note on which I had written, “What the actual fuck is your problem, Jackson?” He threw it back to me in a manner so that I caught it, instead of it hitting me. I opened it and read what he wrote: “I can’t read your handwriting??”

                Fucking Great.

“Mr. Di Angelo, Mr. Jackson, something you wish to share with the class?” Mr. Brunner’s voice boomed.

                Everyone had turned to look at Nico and Percy. Jason and Piper were whispering to each other and smiling. The others stared and murmured. Fuck. FUCK. IF HE READS THE NOTES WE’VE BEEN SENDING I’M AS GOOD AS GONE. I CAN’T FUCKING LEAVE NOT NOW. I ACTUALLY LIKE GIOVANNA, I ACTUALLY LIKE HER LITTLE HOUSE HERE, I ACTUALLY LIKE PERCY JACKSON.

                **FUCK.**

                I started to freak out and I guess it was fairly evident because Percy seemed to notice. Mr. Brunner was making his way back to Percy and I. I looked at the notes and at Mr. Brunner, and at Percy. I was literally on the verge of tears, a feeling I hate. You know it, when you jaws starts to hurt and you throat closes up and you can feel your tear ducts about to burst. I don’t fucking cry in public, I don’t fucking cry at all.

                In the time it took me to have my internal freak out, Mr. Brunner reached our desks and picked up the notes. He read them (not out loud thank god) and looked over at me.

                “Mr. Di Angelo these are some choice words. I will not have you-” Mr. Brunner said sternly, begging to yell. Percy’s flailing arms interrupted him. Mr. Brunner and I looked over to Percy, befuddled. He starts to sign, and Mr. Brunner only really understands a small percentage of it, but he looks over to me, and back to Percy. He nods, puts the notes down, and returns to the front of the class, continuing his rant about the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

                I didn't look at Percy for the rest of class. I couldn’t even glance up at Mr. Brunner, so I sketched. I ended up doing a sketch of the Colossus of Rhodes. It always interested me, having the two feet on separate islands. I don’t know it’s just cool.

                The bell rang and I shot up and out like a rocket. I made a short stop at my locker, dropping off my books, and made my way to Art, hopefully walking fast enough that Percy couldn’t catch up. I considered not going to Art at all, but I was already standing in front of the door. I begrudgingly turned the handle and walked over to the table I moved to the other day. I immediately got out a piece of paper and began to draw, mostly because I knew Percy was going to sit with me, even though I’m sitting at the table I moved to get away from him last class.

                He walked in and made his way over. Called it. He sat and looked over at what I was drawing. I pulled the paper in closer and leaned over it farther. He looked away. He tapped the table by my arm which was covering a majority of my sketch.I looked up.

                ‘S-O-R-R-Y’ He signed to me.

                What the fuck. Why is he apologizing? He did literally nothing wrong. What is this guy’s deal? I was about to start fuming when the Art teacher walked over. He put two pieces of paper on the table.

                Percy took one and pushed the other one toward me.

                I turned the paper over and, as neatly as I could when I was this irritated, I wrote ‘leave me alone’, and shoved it in his face. He grabbed it from my hand and held it squinting. He smiled and wrote something. He turned it so I could read it.

                "You’re gonna have to try harder if you want to get rid of me."

                I snatched the paper and in return wrote,

                "I’ll give it 110%"

                There was no room left on the paper, so Percy turned over the sheet he had received from the teacher and wrote, "and it still won’t be enough."

                I almost wanted to laugh, I mean I did want to laugh, but I couldn't. Instead I rolled my eyes and read the instructions the teacher had just given us.

** Project 1 **

 Prompt: Draw something that makes you happy.

Medium: Lead pencil and paper

Expectations: Full range of values, and contrast

 Should be completed in two class periods. Go nuts.

                Of course there was more than just that, but that was the gist. There was a rubric at the bottom, but I never really looked at those. Two class periods, including this one, was a lot of time, but also none at all. If it were one class it would have to be good, but not great, if it were a week, it would need to be outstanding. Two days? What if I don’t do well enough? What do I even do for this project? What makes me happy?

I started to sketch the face of an old woman, and I smiled as I worked. I didn’t focus on the music playing, or the students chattering, or even my persistent peer sitting across from me. I was just content.


	6. Percy

                My first two blocks couldn’t have gone any faster, not that I really wanted them to. English and Spanish flew by, not that Spanish doesn’t always fly by. I mean, Mr. Mendez speaks the entire class, and nobody actually expects anything of me. I just sit there and doodle all block, and Mr. Mendez passes me. The only reason I’m there I so that I can graduate (you need 3 years of a language in order to graduate, which is sort of ridiculous in my case). Most of the time I work on my art projects, but it was the beginning of the year and we hadn’t gotten any projects yet. So I sat there and doodled.

                I was nervous. About seeing Nico I mean. I hadn’t quite sorted out how I felt about him but whatever feeling I had, it was a strong one. Thank God for Annabeth, and thank God again for how perceptive she is. She sits next to me in Spanish and could tell I was just sort of, off. I had felt her tap my shoulder and I turned my attention her way.

‘You OK?’ She signed with a concerned face.

                I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to talk about it. I mean, she knows about the crush I had on her, we crossed that bridge quite some time ago, but I never really told her about it. It was just kinda ‘I like you’, and ‘Sorry, I don’t feel the same’. I was sure, however, that talking err signing about it would make me feel less stressed, so I went for it.

                ‘Yes, but you remember my crush on you?’ I signed. I could tell she didn’t like the lack of articles and structure. Her face contorted into some form of surprise for a moment, but she fixed her expression.

                ‘Yes, why? Do you still-?’ She signed but I interrupted her.

                ‘No, I think,’ I paused thinking about what I was about to say. Do I really like Nico? Then just at the thought of his name a light flutter rose in my heart. That’s stupid, this whole thing is stupid, I’m an idiot, ‘I like Nico.’

                I realized I wasn’t actually looking at her, but the ground. I lifted my head and tried to gauge her reaction. She just seemed to be processing, so I went on.

                ‘I mean, I feel how I felt with you, but with him.’ There was definitely a better way to phrase that, but it didn’t matter because Annabeth understood and was signing back.

                ‘So? Tell him.’ She didn’t seemed to fully understand the situation.

                ‘He hates me.’

                ‘No, he just wants you to think he hates you. It’s a defense mechanism.’

                ‘What?’

                Annabeth rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece of paper from her notebook. She wrote hastily and handed me the paper. Something she either doesn’t know the words for in sign language, or something too lengthy to describe.

“A defense mechanism, he has himself convinced that not letting people get close to him is better than risking someone hurting him. So, he acts angry and stand off-ish, so people won’t bother him and he won’t get hurt. Got it?”

                I’m gonna go with lengthy. I looked back up at her and nodded. A thought did come to mind however and I decided it was just better to continue communicating by writing.

“So how do I get past the whole defense mechanism thing?” I wrote, and then handed her the paper.

                She looked at me, smiled, and wrote something on the paper, then returning it to me.

                “Give it 110%”

                I looked back up at her and scrunched my nose at the unsatisfactory answer. She smiled and pointed at the bell on the wall next to, then got up and left. Wild guess here but I’m assuming it had rung, so I got my things and walked out.

                I made my way through packs of kids, occasionally having to shove through. Eventually the sea of children very biblically parted, and I made it into Mr. Brunner’s classroom. When I walked in I saw Nico sitting in the desk I had accidentally relocated him to. He had been situating his binder and text book when he looked up and saw me. My heart practically stopped when we made eye contact. I think I started smiling, but stopped myself.

                Okay, gotta get past the defense mechanism. I started walking over to the desk next to his and I could tell he was not happy. I pretended not to notice and put my things on my desk, placing my pencil in the divot thing at the top. I was pretty sure he was staring at me. I looked over. I furrowed my eyebrows attempting to show my confusion, and to my surprise, he responded.

                ‘N-O-R-H-I-N-G’

                He went home and learned sign language. Or, the alphabet at least. This was either a very good thing, or very bad thing. He either liked me enough to learn it (meaning this whole thing was just what Annabeth was talking about, the defense mechanism), or he hated me enough to learn it. What was it he signed again? Norhing? He must of ment nothing. I smiled because it was kinda cute. Boy am I digging myself a hole here.

                Keeping in mind that he probably only knows the alphabet (and possibly a few basics), I signed ‘O-K’ back to him, and returned to organizing my things. Mr. Brunner had written something about Archimedes and his screw on the board, along with a drawing of what it looked like. I kinda thought it would be a literal screw, but it’s a sort of tunnel with a screw adjacent part in the center. Seeing as I couldn’t actually hear Mr. Brunner explain what exactly it did, I went on doodling.

                I had spent the last two classes thinking about Nico, now he’ sitting right there and I’ve hardly even said anything. I turned to a clean piece of paper in my binder, ripped it out and thought about what to write. What do I even say? The whole friends thing didn’t work out, though it might have been because being an idiot I drew him without consent like a fucking weirdo what the actual fuck was I thinking. I kept it simple.

                I threw the paper at him, unintentionally hitting his head. Nice one Percy. He looked over at me with an expression beyond hatred. Maybe he didn’t understand I had written something on it? I pointed at it trying to convey that he should open it. There read the word “Hey”, which I had so eloquently written. Hey spent a very short amount of time reading it, and then furiously wrote a response. He then proceeded to crumple the note back up and throw it at my head. I could tell it was intentional.

                I open the note and attempted to read what he wrote. He wrote so fast and heatedly that his handwriting wasn’t legible. I tried to understand it but it just looked like a bunch of scribbles. I was so focus on reading his chicken scratch I almost didn’t notice a second note go whizzing past me. I looked over at Nico, then back to the note, which I had to bend over to pick up.

                Again, I could understand a ting, so I wrote that I couldn’t read his handwriting, and tossed at back at him so that he could catch it. He opened it and looked at what I had written. I was looking at him to make sure he understood when his head suddenly shot up. He was looking at something in front of him in sheer horror. Mr. Brunner. Nico looked almost like he was about to wet himself. His eyes darted around the class, and Percy could see they were murmuring something.

                He looked at Mr. Brunner, who had picked up the notes and began to read them silently to himself, and at me. Was he? No. He was crying, or at least dangerously close. Shit. I don’t know what he wrote, but I knew he didn’t want Mr. Brunner to know, and I knew Mr. Brunner was excellent at reading bad handwriting.

                I waved my arms like an idiot trying to get Mr. Brunner’s attention. He seemed quite angry at Nico, so I’m assuming the words he had written weren’t so kind, but he did turn his attention to me. I signed to Mr. Brunner that it was okay, and it was just a joke. He only understood some of it, but he nodded and returned to the front of the class, getting into a heated lecture.

                Nico didn’t look at me the rest of class, he just drew. I understood, and let him be. He was almost in tears. Part of me wanted to know why, but a more rational part of me knew not to ask. Eventually the bell must’ve rung because Nico shot up like a rocket and left. I got my things and made my way out, waving goodbye to Mr. Brunner before I left. I dropped my binder and text book off at my locker and went to Art. There I found Nico sitting at the table he moved to after he crumpled up my drawing of him the other day.

                I just realized how much he really wants to be nowhere near me. I was tempted to sit at another table, but urged myself to sit there, across from him. He was already drawing when I got there, and pulled his paper closer to himself as I sat down. What do I do? The thought that he really hates me, loathes me to the core really hits me. He probably hates me as much as I hate Gabe. My heart felt like it was going to stop beating. I knew what this was. It was heartache.

                Even if he hated me, even if he spent the rest of his life resenting me, I was the one who started the note passing, and inevitable was the reason he was on the verge of tears.

                I tapped not him, but the table by him and signed.

                ‘S-O-R-R-Y’

                He looked even angrier, and a stronger wave of that heartache hit. Mr. Dephillips walked over and put to papers on the table. I took one and nudged the other to Nico. He immediately turned his over and slowly and neatly wrote something on the back, and then shoved it in my face, quite literally. I grabbed the paper and read it.

                “Leave me alone.”

                Though I should have been hurt, I wasn’t. I thought it was almost funny. Defense mechanisms.

                “You’re gonna have to try harder to get rid of me.” I wrote, and turned the paper around so that it was facing him on the table. He pulled it towards him and wrote in return: “I’ll give it 110%”. I smiled.

               “And it still won’t be enough” I wrote when I received the paper. He hesitated for a moment and then rolled his eyes. He then turned his attention to the instructions we had been given for our project. I too turned my paper over and looked. Draw what makes us happy. That’s the assignment. I looked at Nico and for a moment thought I had a pretty good idea of what makes me happy, but the sight of Nico crumpling up my previous sketches of him ran through my mind, and decided it wasn’t a great idea. Instead I began to draw my mother. The more I drew the more I realized how unhappy I was while drawing this. I loved my mother, sure, but she rarely made me happy, as she was rarely not fighting with Gabe.

                I looked at Nico. I’m gonna ask him tomorrow. I’m gonna ask to draw him. And I’m not taking no for an answer.


	7. Nico

                What could you possibly want from me now Percy? I get that you’re deaf and don’t know what Mr. Brunner’s actually talking about most of the time, but I do and I actually find it interesting. I would like to pass this class.

                He tried to sign something to me but I didn’t understand other than ‘I’ and ‘you’.

‘You and me, what?’ I signed confused, with a confused expression.

‘No, C-A-N I D-R-A-W you?’ He spelled slowly making sure I understood.

                What. I mean…what.

                ‘You want…why?’ I signed confused and fairly limited in knowledge of American Sign Language.

                ‘A-R-T.’

                He wants to draw me for Art? What was the project again? To draw something that makes you happy?

                My heart stopped. I forgot I was staring right at Percy and when I did refocus he looked confused. I blushed. I blushed really bad. I could feel my face heating up bad. Why would he want to draw me? What aspect of my existence could possibly brighten this moron’s day? I’m nothing but callous to him and he? No. This was a joke. A prank. Jason and Piper probably told him to say that. I looked over at them. They weren’t giggling, they weren’t looking over at all.

                He was looking at me confused.

                ‘No. No you…no.’ I signed confused and then angry. Apparently he caught on. I didn’t understand what he was signing but he looked concerned and bewildered. Signing wasn’t exactly working out right now so I resorted to writing. I was going to need to get a whole damn notebook just for conversations with Percy. I wrote something along the lines of “What the fuck is your problem you fucking dickwad leave me alone. Whatever the hell it is you’re trying to pull it’s not gonna fucking work. It’s not fucking funny, got it?” I was sure to write clearly and pass him the note while Mr. Brunner wasn’t looking.

                He grabbed the paper and read it. Or he seemed to read it, he looked sort of confused again. Or taken aback, I wasn’t quite sure. He looked over at me with a look I would assume is concern and returned is attention to the paper, beginning to write. He too looked to Mr. Brunner when he was done, making sure that we wouldn’t get caught. He handed me the paper.

                “I’m not pranking you or anything Nico. I just want to draw you for the project. I mean I can’t draw without a reference, and I left my picture of my mom at home so I figured… you don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to.”

                Every part of me is screaming to say no but I couldn’t find a good reason to. He didn’t want to draw me because I made him happy. That’s a relief I guess. I just can’t get attached to anyone. Giovanna is it right now. I’m even afraid of getting attached and losing her. That can’t happen. I can’t- fuck I’m gonna cry again. It didn’t take long for a tear fall down my cheek. Fuck. Not now. Not here. It was too late though. I started shaking and sniffling and all those horrible crying things. I hated crying that’s for sure, but crying in public was the absolute worst. I just wanted to stop but I couldn’t.

                That’s when I felt someone grab my wrist and pull me out of my seat. I looked up to see the back of Percy’s head as he pulled me down the row of desks and out of class. He was walking surprisingly fast. I didn’t really know where we were going but it didn’t matter because all I was really thinking about was Bianca and my mom and Giovanna and I just couldn’t stop crying. The tears were streaming and the images of lightning and sound of screaming wouldn’t stop.

                Percy seemed to notice I had gotten worse and he stopped. He grabbed my other wrist and looked at me worriedly. I didn’t look anywhere but the floor. He let go of one of my wrists and tilted my head up to the point where I had to look at him. When I saw his face, when I realized that he was watching me cry and trying to help I just cried harder to the point of sobbing. He held my shoulders and tried to steady me.

                I can’t do this. He’s gonna think I’m weak. He’s gonna think I’m pathetic. Probably because I am. I literally can’t cry any harder than I am already. He looked me in the eyes and something about them were calming, I mean for a moment anyway then they reminded me of the sea and of Florida and inevitably the crash and then I was balling again. He grabbed my wrist again and guided me to what I realized was the counselor’s office.

                I thought he was going to have us actually talk to the counselor which would have been a horrible idea, but he just sat me down in one the seats outside her office and squatted in front of me. One of the ladies at the front desk walked over and asked him what was going on so he wrote something and she let us alone. I forgot he was holding my wrist until he moved and held my hand instead. I looked back up at him but found I could barely see anything through my tears. He moved his other hand to wipe some of the tears from my face.

                That’s when I realized that Percy Jackson was a filthy liar.

                Nobody cares this much about someone who doesn’t make them happy.


	8. Percy

                He was obviously not happy that I was interrupting him…again. I mean I guess I should lay off since he seems genuinely interested in whatever Mr. Brunner was talking about. This was important though. I signed ‘Can I draw you for Art’ to him but he just looked confused.

                ‘You and Me what?’ he signed in return. Sorta forgot he only knows the alphabet.

                ‘No, C-A-N I D-R-A-W you?’ I spelled slowly so he understood. He looked frazzled. This was stupid. He obviously hated my guts so I mean why even bother?

                ‘You want…why?’ He responded slowly, unsure about my motives. I was surprised at how much he did actually know.

                ‘A-R-T.’ I responded.

                Nico sort of looked like he was gonna pass out for a second he was completely lost in thought. I wasn’t sure how to respond and don’t think he did either. I just kinda stared at him unsure of what to do. He did eventually zone back in and looked over to where Jason and Piper sat. I glanced over but they were focused on Mr. Brunner. When I returned my attention to Nico he realized I was staring at him.

                ‘No. No you…no.’ He seemed unsure of what he was saying but like I sort of expected he got angry. I tried signing that I was sorry and I didn’t mean to intrude or anything but I forgot he didn’t understand much sign language. He turned to his note book, ripped out a piece of paper and started to write. He was clearly trying to write neatly but he was still fuming. He looked up to see if Mr. Brunner was watching then passed me the note.

                “What the actual fuck is your problem you literal dickwad. Whatever sick prank you’re trying to pull just fucking stop you sick bastard. Leave me the fuck alone got it?”

                 It wasn’t exactly easy to read but I could manage. I was sort of surprised at his choice of words. That’s colorful language for a mute kid, not gonna lie. Once a got past the cussing and swears I actually read what he was saying. He thought it was a prank? Why the hell would I even? I looked up at him sorta concerned with what this kid has been through that he would assume I’m pranking him?

                Because the project. Fuck Percy, you’re a genius. He’s freaking out because the thought that he makes me happy. I felt my heart sink. Fuck man. I can’t just tell him I like him he’s gonna flip.

                I hate lying. I **hate** lying. But what was I supposed to say? Oh yeah I want to draw you for Art because I’m knees deep in love with you? Probably not the smartest idea. I mean it was my problem with lying that made me want to draw Nico because I would have just drawn my mom but she doesn’t really make me feel particularly happy right now so… I don’t know, I just dug myself a hole. Boy was that a run on sentence or what.

                So I wrote that I just wanted to draw him because I ‘needed a reference’ and ‘left a picture of my mom I ment to bring at home’. I couldn’t even look at him this is horrible. I gave him the paper and he read it. I was trying to look away but when I didn’t receive a tap on the shoulder or the note thrown at me I was curious. I looked over and saw him crying. I fucked up.

                I wasn’t sure what to do and started freaking out. Should I help him? Should I leave him alone? I have literally never been in this kind of situation before. I don’t remember why but something was telling me to get him out of class and the next thing I knew I had jumped out of and over my desk, grabbed his wrist and walked down the aisle and out of class. If Mr. Brunner yelled something at me to stop I sure as hell didn’t hear it. We were at the end of the hall, and we had to make it to the complete other end, where the guidance office was.

                I didn’t need to hear Nico crying to know that he was crying hard. He was physically shaking. I stopped and he stopped next to me. I grabbed his other wrist and pulled him to the side of the hallway so we weren’t taking up space for others passing by. Not that there were any, but just in case.

                He was staring adamantly at the ground, still shaking. I let go of one of his wrists and tilted his head up so he would look at me which apparently wasn’t a good idea because he became to sob. Nice one Percy. I grabbed his shoulders to try to stop the shaking and steady him but it didn’t work. I looked him in the eyes and for a second it worked. I mean my mom told me I had pretty eyes but I had no idea… shit he’s crying again. I grabbed his wrist again and pulled him to the guidance office.

                I sat him down in one of the chairs in the waiting room. I figured actually talking to a counselor might not work out well, as neither of us can actually speak. So I squatted there in front of him holding his wrists and making sure he was alright. One of the ladies form the front desk, Mrs. Dodds I believe, came over and I’m assuming asked what’s going on?? She looked confused so I just sorta assumed. I grabbed a piece of paper from a table nearby and wrote: “He started crying idk why I’m deaf, he’s mute, we’ll be fine. Just need some time to cool down C:”.

                She took the note, nodded, and walked away. I returned my attention to Nico. I really didn’t like how I couldn’t comfort him. Hell, I wasn’t even sure **why** he was crying. So I did what my mom used to do to comfort me, I held his hand. That seems a little silly I know, but I couldn’t hug him without sitting on his lap, and I thought it might be overwhelming so I just, you know, held his hand and wiped some of the tears off his face.

                That’s when I realized I wasn’t knees deep in love with Nico di Angelo. I was in over my damn head, and this kid was going to be the death of me.


	9. Nico

                After the unfortunate crying episode I expected everything to be different with Percy. I mean whether he liked me or not seeing someone cry changes the way you look at them. Most of the time I got looks of pity, which was what I feared Percy would choose, but he chose a different look, respect.

                The Art project came and went, and our drawings were up on the classroom wall. Percy noted that he liked my picture of my grandmother and I just smiled and went with it, signing thanks in return. His picture of me was of course, fucking perfect. I told his he was good but he just blushed and said thanks in return.

                It went on for weeks. Us getting closer and closer. We signed to each other or passed notes in History (once we got past Greece and Rome I was bored out of my mind) and signed in art every now and again, when we weren’t busy drawing for a project. It didn’t even occur to me until a few weeks in that I was in love with him.

                Did it freak me out? Yeah. I’ve never felt romantic attraction towards, well, anyone. So it was kind of a surprise. I mean did I see myself never being romantically attracted to anyone? Not particularly. It was certainly a new feeling, that’s for sure. I was giddy at first. Practically dumbstruck. Seeing him started to make my heart skip a beat, even stop when he smiled at me.  What scared me was telling him.

                 Mean I know he liked me, sure, but if he loved me was a whole different ball game. If I told him and he didn’t like me back it would ruin our friendship. I mean every time I saw him in class or the hallway it just wouldn’t be the same. Especially if he still wanted to be friends because that would be, well, dreadful.

                So I didn’t say anything. A few days after I realized I had you know, feelings for Percy, we got a project in History. Though we aren’t in any way functional as partners for a project, Mr. Brunner had a feeling I wouldn’t work too well with anyone else (mostly because before the school year had started I wrote him a note saying I didn’t want to work with anyone if projects were assigned, but when he went around picking partners I may have subtly nodded in Percy’s direction to which he nodded and assigned us to work together, but not without a few remarks as to how well we would do focusing on anything but each other). The assignment was on Ancient Greece, The Roman Empire, or The Middle Ages. Safe to say we went with Ancient Greece. I mean Rome is cool and all but Greece. **GREECE**. You just… you just can’t beat Greece.

                We had a week to do it but not time in class which means Percy Jackson was coming over my house. He just sort of suggested it so I went with it. Maybe something was wrong at home, but I wasn’t going to ask. So we decided on a few things before the block ended, said where we’d meet up after school and parted ways for the day. We didn’t have Art today because of the schedule today, but we met up at the front of the school like we said and headed to my place.

                This was horrible. I didn’t have time to clean, or even tell Giovanna that we were having company over. I knew for a fact I was coming home to a messy room and an angry Italian woman. So yeah I was a little nervous. Okay more than a little. You know how when you like someone any you don’t know what to say and there’s that awkward silence. Not actually being able to communicate somehow makes it even worse. I mean we just walked side by side down the sidewalk. Percy didn’t sign anything or try to communicate at all he just looked around as if he had never been in this neighborhood before, which is difficult to believe since it’s such a small town. Eventually after a painstakingly awkward walk we arrived at the house. I knocked on the door twice and waited. Giovanna always had everything locked which was kind of surprising for a woman who grew up with her front door always open. We did use it as a way to indicate my presence because one day she didn’t hear me come in and thought I was a burglar when she heard me rummaging around in my room. Almost got hit with a bat. I’m actually a bit surprised now that she can even lift a metal bat like that.

                I almost thought she was going to have a heart attack when she opened the door and saw Percy. After staring at him for a while she looked at me and started yelling. She turned away and went to the kitchen screaming, “What kind of child doesn’t let a lady know when she’s having guest? What’s this poor boy going to eat?” in Italian. We made our way through the threshold of the front door and I locked the door behind me as Percy set his backpack down. She came back into the family room from the kitchen and tried asking Percy what he’d like to eat in Italian. I picked up the of so convenient white board we leave lying around and explained to her what was going on to the best of my ability. Once she understood she looked back at Percy and said sorry (in English) and then slapped herself on the head. Percy just smiled and did the ‘OK’ sign where your pointer finger touches your thumb and makes a circle and the rest of your fingers are sticking up (which is also the letter ‘f’ in ASL which confused me at first). Giovanna smiled and went into the kitchen, forgetting to actually ask what Percy wanted to eat but I’m sure he’ll like whatever she ends up making.

                Percy looked back over at me and raised his eyebrows at the white board. I shot him a halfhearted glare and motioned for use to go upstairs. He nodded and I set the white board and marker down, and made my way up the stairs. As I went up I looked behind me to see if Percy was following and that idiot had picked up the giant ass white board and was bringing it up the stairs. I signed ‘Why’ to him and he just smiled and shrugged. I rolled my eyes and continued up the stairs. My room was right in front of them, with the bathroom on the left, and Giovanna’s room on the right. I opened the door and entered waiting for Percy to fumble in with the white board. When he did make it in I closed the door (I have a thing with privacy, I don’t know I just don’t like my door open) and sat at the desk that was across from the foot of my bed. Percy sat on my bed and put the whiteboard next to him. I turned towards my desk, opened my laptop, and started it up while Percy looked around. I hadn’t been there very long, so I didn’t do much decorating. Not to mention the mess.

                My hamper was so overflowed with clothes that about 5 garments were on the floor beside it, there were pages upon pages of notes on the desk and floor, my bed wasn’t made (I was tempted to get Percy to get up so I could make it but I didn’t bother. Is it weird that I make my bed at night right when I’m about to go to sleep rather than when I wake up? I don’t quite know why I do that), my binders and text books were scattered across the floor, it was horrible. Okay maybe it wasn’t what most people consider horrible but it wasn’t at its best either. The room itself was a medium (leaning toward dark) grey. I didn’t mind it I kinda liked the melancholy vibe it gave off. The only wall decoration other than my overcrowded bookshelf was a black skull fathead which looked sick not gonna lie. The only other thing that gave my room some actual like was my bed and night stand which were dark brown (almost black but not quite) and sleek with sharp edges, like modern furniture. The bed’s headboard was pretty much just a rectangle (part of that modern vibe), and there was no footboard. The sheets were grey as well as the pillows, and the comforter was light grey, not as light grey, slightly more black grey, and black stripes (thick ones, so that each color only repeated once). Very modern.

                I was too preoccupied with the laptop to gauge Percy’s reaction to my room but when I did turn round he was sitting there with the white board (on which he had drawn the skull that was on the wall on) covering his face. I threw a pen at him. He just silently laughed (with an occasional squeaky laugh thrown in). What an idiot. I turned back to the laptop only to remember something and turn back to Percy (thank God for swivel chairs). He looked at me and I motioned for the white board. He handed me the white board and a marker.

                “Do you have the guidelines for the project?” I wrote. Percy had gotten pretty good at reading my writing which was good because writing neatly took too much time and effort. He read the board and nodded, reaching over the side of the bed for his backpack. He rummaged through his horribly disheveled folder looking for the paper. I told him he should start putting things in his binder but he won’t listen. Eventually he got a hold of it and I signed ‘thank you’ to him as he handed it to me. He responded by signing ‘No p’ which of course ment ‘no problem’.

                I brought up word and started the header when Percy dropped something. Usually this meant ne needed my attention. Not in this case. Percy, being the genius that he is, dropped his History binder and folder on the floor so that now his papers were scattered about the floor mixed in with whatever notes I had down there as well. Great. I looked up from the floor to Percy who just gave me a ‘hey, what are you gonna do?’ kinda smile. He got off the bed and knelt on the floor, picking his papers up. I went to help him, but he shook his head at me and pointed at my laptop to indicate that I should keep working.

                ‘No.’ I signed at him as I went to kneel next to him.

                ‘Project. Go.’ He signed frantically picking papers up. He seemed oddly nervous. That’s when I caught a glance of a particularly interesting doodle on one of Percy’s papers. It may or may not have been of me, and it may or may not be surrounded by little hearts. I smirked but pretended not to see it. I had a feeling they might have been more doodles like that so I decided to ease off and go get back on the laptop. I don’t think Percy realized how loud his sigh of relief was.

                I had a hard time focusing because really, I was thinking about Percy. Now this is just a shot in the dark and all, but I’m pretty people who are ‘just friends’ draw pictures of each other surrounded by hearts. Pretty sure. That means that Percy actually… Percy actually likes me. Err, well, more than likes me. Thank God I was facing the laptop and not Percy because my face was more than certainly bright red. The fact that Percy had just finished cleaning up and was standing over my shoulder didn’t help. I had literally only typed our names at the top of the document.

                That’s when Percy nudged my shoulder and motioned for me to get up. I looked away and tried thinking about something else as he typed the rest of the header. Eventually I felt my face cool down and I looked back at Percy. He was typing up the outline for the project, which were answers 16 questions about our topic. I rummaged through my binder looking for notes and worksheets that could help. Eventually the typing stopped and I looked up at Percy. He shrugged and signed ‘You know more’.

                ‘No kidding’ I replied, to which he scrunched his nose and stuck out his tongue out. Percy got out of the chair and flopped himself onto the bed so that he was lying on his back. When I sat down I saw that he had answered the first three questions. I turned back around realizing I still needed the notes. Percy was sitting there reading them (or at least trying to I mean he had gotten _better_ at reading my writing but that’s not saying much) and making weird faces. Whatever. I went back to answering the questions. I was probably at question 8 when Giovanna called us down. I pushed the chair out from under the desk and tapped Percy on the shoulder.

                ‘Food’ I signed to Percy who had gotten through three full pages of notes in about 15 minutes. He shot up off the bed and nodded.

                She had made lasagna. It was, of course, amazing. Percy looked like a giddy idiot the whole time nodding and trying to smile with his mouth full. It sure was interesting translating Giovanna’s Italian into ASL, that’s for sure. At one point I think they could tell I was getting a little exhausted and we just ate and enjoyed each other’s company. Percy, being the little shit he is ended up doing all the dishes even the Giovanna insisted she could wash them. It’s not like he heard her. Or could understand Italian even if he could.

                When Percy was done cleaning we thanked Giovanna (we taught her thank you in ASL, which was a riot) and went back upstairs. The first thing Percy did was grab the white board and write “You speak Italian?” To which I wrote back “I don’t even speak English, Percy, but I do know Italian.” He rolled his eyes, a trait he unfortunately picked up from me. I sat back down at the computer and looked over at the questions. Nah, I was done for the day. I saved the document and closed the laptop. I turned to face Percy.

                ‘It’s late.’ I signed.

                ‘Giovanna your grandmother?’ he signed. The whole no sentence structure thing still put me off a bit, but I understood.

                ‘No.’ I signed, then realizing I had no idea how to explain it in sign language. I grabbed the oh-so convenient whiteboard and began to explain.

                "She’s my foster mother as of right now, though I do view her as more of a grandmother."

                                Percy nodded and grabbed the board from me.

                "Is it okay to ask what happened to your parents?"

                                I nodded and took the board from Percy.

                “My father left when I was a kid, my mother and sister died in a car accident.”

                                He didn’t know what to say. Most people didn’t. I didn’t mind. Percy took the board from me again.

                "I’m sorry, Nico." He showed me the board and I gave him a halfhearted smile. I took it back (man we really need two of these) and figured it was a good time to ask about what’s going on at home.

                "What about you? Tragic backstory?" He smiled when he saw it.

                "Dad left. Mom got remarried to Gabe the scum of the Earth."

                "I’m sorry, Percy."

                We sat there for a while, both of us absorbed in our own shitty childhood. Eventually we zoned back in and we just sort of looked at each other. Percy scooted over and patted the bed next to him. I got up and laid next to him, both of us looking at the ceiling. It was nice. At least until Giovanna started screaming about how late it was getting and that Percy would have to walk home in the dark. I looked out the window. It was getting pretty late and Percy had to walk home alone.

                He must have notice that I was looking out the window because he was too. When I turned back to look at him he nodded and got up. I got up too suddenly realizing how lonely my room was going to feel when he left.

                That’s when he kissed me.


	10. Percy

                Seeing someone cry is certainly strange. I mean I’d seen my mother cry which was weird because you expect adults to keep it together, but Nico, a friend, was different. I thought everything would be different, I thought he would shut me out, but when I saw him the day after I just, I just respected him. And I think he picked up on that.

                The project in Art came and went. Everyone’s picture was up on the wall. Nico had drawn a realistic picture of his grandmother that was really good. It was weird because Nico only really drew cartoons, but I could still tell that the picture was his. I don’t know how, I just knew. Weird.

                For a few weeks now we’ve been getting really close. We would sign to each other in Art every so often, and once we got to the Middle Ages Nico couldn’t care less about what Mr. Brunner was saying, so we passed notes. I was somehow falling even harder for him. Every day I thought there was no way I could love him anymore than I already did, and every day I saw him I fell harder. I almost thought my heart was gonna burst.

                I just had a hard time with the idea of telling him. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to _do_? Walk up to him and tell him in love with him? Pretty sure he doesn’t know the sign for love. And that’s a ridiculous idea.

                What if he didn’t like me back? I mean we’re good friends now, sure but that doesn’t mean he loves me. I didn’t even want to think about it. I mean I knew there was a possibility but… the thought of it broke my heart. Isn’t that weird? We’re not even _in_ a relationship, yet I’m that in love with him. I’m so screwed. NOT THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT SCREWING OF ANYONE KIND THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS.

I’m hopeless.

                So of course I was buying time. It almost felt like a bomb and I just wanted to put the explosion off as long as I could. Then there was the project.

                 I don’t particularly like projects. I like History, sure, but projects, not so much. Mr. Brunner assigned Nico and I to work together, which made sense because I honestly doubt Nico would actually work with anyone else. So we worked out the details and where we’d work on the project. I suggested working at his place before he had time to suggest going to mine.

                That would be horrible. If there was one thing I didn’t need Nico to know about, it was my home life. Nico had enough shit to deal with, and he certainly shouldn’t be worrying about me. That was that. So we decided to meet up outside the front doors of school and walk to Nico’s.

                We didn’t talk on the way over. Of course we didn’t ‘talk’ but you know what I mean. We just walked. Nico seemed a little on edge, but I couldn’t figure out why. That’s when I realized I had literally no idea what Nico’s home life was like. Nothing. Not a clue.

                I should have let him come over my house. What if his family was worse than mine? Christ I’m a selfish asshole. I almost wanted to grab him by the shoulders and turn us around. It was a bit late though, seeing as we were standing at his front door.

                He knocked on the door which I thought was strange because you think he would have a key to his own house but then I realized that his family might not realize he’s home. Hmm, the misadventures of Nico di Angelo. I don’t know exactly who I expected to answer the door, but it wasn’t Nico’s grandmother, that’s for sure. She looked a little started when she noticed me standing there. I guess Nico didn’t tell her I was coming. Wait did he even-did he even have a cellphone? I mean I never thought to ask for his number or anything (I have a cellphone but it’s strictly for emergencies).

                She looked over at Nico and began to yell. Why I wasn’t quite sure. I could read lips adequately but when someone was yelling, not so much.  She was very scary when she yelled for someone of her age. She eventually turned so that she wasn’t blocking the doorway and we went in. Nico was listening to her yell as I set my backpack down. When she returned she tried to ask me something, but I didn’t understand what she was saying, even when I was reading her lips. I stood there helplessly confused as Nico picked up a strangely large white board and a dry erase marker. I couldn’t tell what he wrote but she seemed to understand. She turned to me and said sorry (see I told you I could read lips), and then smacked herself on the head. I found it kind of endearing and gave her the ‘ok’ gesture (it’s fairly universal and is understood more than signing ‘O-K’). She smiled in return and went to the kitchen.

                I looked over at Nico who was still holding this ridiculously large white board and gave him a questioning look. He gave me a joking glare and nodded his head in the direction of the stairs. I nodded and he set the whiteboard and marker back down and went upstairs, as fast as ever. I grabbed the board and rushed behind him, as he is unnaturally fast (a habit that stems from his impatience, as I’ve learned). Communicating would be a lot easier if we could just pass it back and forth and write. Though Nico has picked up a lot of sign language, there’s still some gaps. He slowed down about half way up to turn around and check on me. How kind. He signed ‘why’ at me confused, yet somehow slightly aggressive. I just shrugged and smiled. All is good Neeks. He rolled his eyes and continued forward.

                Nico’s room was directly in front of the stairs with another room on each side. He opened the door and walked in, holding it open as I stumbled in, then closed it behind me. What a gentle man. His room was interesting. It had a modern, kinda edgy look to it. Grey walls, grey based sheets and grey striped comforter, black bed frame and skull on the wall. It was pretty cool. It was also pretty messy. I’m sure if Nico knew I was coming over he would have cleaned. I’m sorta surprised he didn’t make me wait downstairs or something while he cleaned. I’m also surprised it was this messy to begin with, Nico’s an organized and tidy guy. I pretended not to notice the mess and laid back on his bed, putting the whiteboard and marker next to me.

                While I was looking around Nico had started up the laptop and was working on opening word and google chrome and all those nice things. I got distracted by the skull. I knew full well that Nico was going to turn around to gauge my reaction to his room. So I did what any sarcastic little shit such as myself would do. I drew the skull that was on his wall on the whiteboard and held it up to my face until her turned around. He threw a pen at me. I just laughed. I didn’t know what I sounded like when I laughed, but I know I would make sounds sometimes. Nico turned back to face the laptop only to turn right back around again. He motioned for the whiteboard.

                “Do you have the guidelines for the project?” I had gotten used to his handwriting, I mean it wasn’t exactly easy, but it wasn’t as difficult as it used to be. I nodded and went through my folder. It was a mess. Honestly, I knew what papers were in there, I just didn’t know where they were.  I did eventually find the guidelines and handed it to Nico who was sitting there watching me go through the travesty that is my folder. I knew he was thinking about all the times he told me to but my papers in a binder instead. What a little shit. He signed ‘Thank you’ and I signed ‘No p’ in return. Nico turned around to face the laptop and began to work on out project, when I dropped my folder. The entire thing was spewed out on the floor, along with Nico’s papers. It must have been loud because he heard it. He looked at the floor, and then up to me. I shot him an ‘Oh well’ sorta smile and knelt on the floor to pick my papers up. I was fine until I realized that there were some doodles on my notes I didn’t want Nico to see. Particularly the ones of him or his name surrounded by hearts. Yeah, best to avoid him seeing those. At all costs. He started to kneel down to help but I shook my head rapidly pointed up at the laptop.

               ‘No’ he signed at me. God, Nico why do you have to be such a good person, Christ.

               ‘Project. Go.’ I was freaking out. I was frantic at this point picking up papers just as fast as Nico walks (more like runs), which was saying something. I realized what I said (signed, whatever) sounded very harsh, and even more suspicious, but I just really didn’t need him to see anything on any of these papers. He did however, back off which was a relief.

                I finished cleaning up and went to check to see how Nico was doing. He hadn’t done anything which was odd for him. He knew Ancient Greece and Rome like the back of his hand. He literally only typed our names at the top. Maybe he had been brushing up on some research, or was going over all the questions first. His mind did seem to be elsewhere though, so I figured I’d give him a break. I nudged him on the shoulder and motioned for him to get up. He looked a little red. Maybe he as embarrassed that he was zoned out. Shit smooth one Percy. Well too late now, he was already up out of the seat. I sat down and started to work on the outline.

                There 16 questions to answer and honestly I barely knew the answer to even one of them. I got up to number 3 and gave up. Nico must have heard me stop typing because he looked over at me. He was sitting on his bed going through his notes. Though I knew I was going to get some sort of sarcastic response I told him that he knows more than I do, implying that he should take back the reigns for the questions. He signed ‘No kidding’. I resented that and stuck my tongue out at him.

                I got up and laid back down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. I got bored of that and realized he left his notes on the bed. I held them up and tried to read them and boy I forgot that Nico was actually trying to write neat when he was communicating with me because this was practically hieroglyphics. I don’t even think _he_ can read his handwriting.  I got to about 3 out of the 7 pages in a span of what felt like 15 minutes. I was interrupted by Nico tapping me on the shoulder.

                ‘Food.’ He signed. Hell yeah I’m up for food.

                His grandmother had made a slamming lasagna. No offense to my mother or anything, but I didn’t know food could actually taste this good. I had a feeling she made the sauce herself because it was unlike anything I had had before. Yeah it sure as hell wasn’t Ragu. I literally could not stop eating it, even when I was full it was just so fucking good. Giovanna spoke again, and I again tried to read her lips. Nico turned to me and signed what she had asked and that’s when I realized she wasn’t speaking English. That was when Nico became the translator, using a spare, normal sized whit board. I felt bad because I would not stop asking questions. There were somethings he had trouble translating, and eventually he just looked totally spent, so we ate in silence. Well I mean I always eat in silence, but you know what I mean.

                When I was done I got up and washed my plate. Then I saw that there were other dished in the sink so I washed them too, along with Nico’s and his grandmother’s. Nico and I thanked her for the meal (and tried to actually teach her thank you in ASL, which was fun) and went back up stairs. When we made it back to Nico’s room I grabbed the whiteboard and asked the obvious, “You speak Italian?”

                To which he replied, “I don’t even speak English, Percy, but I do know Italian.”

                I rolled my eyes at him (a habit I got from him nonetheless), and he went back to the laptop. He sat down and looked over the questions, but instead of continuing to work, he saved the document and shut the laptop. He turned to in the chair and signed that it was getting late. That’s when I really started to wonder about Nico di Angelo and I asked a question I thought I knew the answer to.

                ‘Giovanna your grandmother?’ I asked. I could tell by the look on his face he (much like Annabeth), didn’t like the lack of structure.

                ‘No.’ he signed plain and simple. He stopped. He didn’t seem to know what to say next. He grabbed the whiteboard we had left up here and wrote.

                “She’s my foster mother as of right now, though I do view her as more of a grandmother.”

                                Oh. So he’s… oh. That sort of explains a lot.

                I took the board and wrote, “Is it okay to ask what happened to your parents?”

                                He nodded and took the board.

                “My father left when I was a kid, my mother and sister died in a car accident.”

                                Wow. That’s-that’s horrible. He lost his sister too. What is it even like? To lose a sibling. To lose a mother. To feel abandoned and unwanted by your father? What am I supposed to say?

                I took the board back and wrote the only thing I could, “I’m sorry, Nico.” I felt bad for asking so I tried to smile and cheer him up, but I didn’t work too well. He took the board back and asked me something I didn’t quite expect. He asked about my home life. So I was honest, maybe for the first time ever.

                "Dad left. Mom got remarried to Gabe the scum of the Earth.”

"I’m sorry, Percy." He wrote. Guess neither of us really knew what to say.

We sat for a while both of us thinking about or past. At least we could both relate to the whole dead-beat dad thing. Not much of a bright side actually, it kinda sucks. Eventually we both zoned back into reality and were looking at each other. I realized he was sitting in a swivel chair and lying down might have been more comfortable, so I scooted over to make room for him and patted the bed. He got up and made his way over, lying down next to me on his back. He was looking up at the ceiling, and for a while I was too, but then I looked over at him.

                I loved him. God, did I fucking love him. That’s all I could think about until I noticed him look out the window. I was getting late. He turned and looked at me and my heart practically stopped. Here I am, lying next to Nico di Angelo, in his room, on his bed. I nodded understanding that it was late, and hoping he didn’t notice me blushing. He got up and stood behind me as I grabbed my folder and went for the door.

Then the thoughts about him came back. About how much I loved him, and how he made my heart swell, and in that moment the thought that he may never like me back didn’t matter because I turned around and kissed him.


	11. Nico

                Then after that fucker kissed me he ran down the stairs and out the door like the fucking flash. Giovanna tried to ask what happened but I just stood in my room dumbstruck and blushing. Where did that even come from?

                Part of me is screaming to be mad because he kissed me without consent but another, surprisingly romantic side of me over rid all my logic and anger. So there I was. Standing. Alone in my room. Touching my lips in disbelief. Thinking about Percy.

                Giovanna looked up the stairs and saw me standing there.

                “Tutto bene?” She asked in her thick Italian accent. I looked down at her and suddenly snapped back into reality. I nodded and she went on. “Va tutto bene con Percy?”

                I smiled and almost said no, everything was not alright with Percy, the asshole just kissed me and dodged like a fucking douche, but I just nodded. She nodded and returned to watching TV.

                I stepped forward and closed my bedroom door, and then very dramatically leaned back against it. I liked Percy. No, I loved Percy, and Percy loved me (or has a very skewed sense of how friends act toward each other). Fuck. No one’s ever actually been I love with me before and it was making me oddly nervous. What if I fuck this up? What if I get too clingy? What if I’m too distant? Were we in a relationship now? Shit I’m so fucking confused.

                I looked over at my bed and saw that my notes that Percy was reading were still lying there. I went over to pick them up and put them away and all I could think about was lying there with Percy. Fuck. Fuck me, love is so complicated.

                I crawled into bed and got under the covers. I couldn't sleep very well because all I could think about was having Percy lie there next to me. I could feel my self blushing. Do you think we'd do stuff like that? I mean, if we were a couple? Share a bed, hold hands, kiss... maybe some other things. Suddenly there wasn't just blood rushing to my face. Holy shit. This didn't happen. I was not thinking about having sex with Percy Jackson. Fuck. Yeah I was. Not that I particularly wanted to, or felt the desire to actually have sex with Percy, I just let my teenage hormones get the best of me. After a while of thinking about messy make-outs,grinding, and dry humping, I figured I needed a cold shower.

                I got out of bed and walked out of my room and to the left at the end of the hallway. I opened the bathroom door and turned the shower on. I concentrated on specifically not thinking about Percy which was really difficult, mostly because I was completely naked, my mind was wondering, and I had a very creative imagination. I eventually did, uh, clam down, and I got out of the shower. I dried of and return to my room with my towel around my waist. I got my pajamas on and got back into bed. 

                Somehow I was going to manage to pretend that the past fifteen minutes of my life never happened. I was however, still think about Percy (not like that this time). Things were different between us now. I don't know what he was going to be like tomorrow in class. He might be embarrassed, he might try to avoid me, and avoid talking about it, but I knew one thing for sure. I was going to go up to him tomorrow and tell him how I felt. It was going to be awkward. It was going to be embarrassing. And I couldn't wait.


	12. Percy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: If your triggers involve drunk, abusive, or violent parents, guardians, or people in general don't read this chapter!! Also if you struggle with thoughts about the point of existence don't read this chapter. That should be it!!

                After I kissed Nico I got the fuck out of there. I sprinted out of his house like a rocket. I guess I was just embarrassed and nervous. I didn’t even stay to see how he reacted I just kissed him, realized I was kissing him, and got the fuck out of dodge.

                What if he was mad? What if he thought I was disgusting? What if he never spoke to me again? I mean he already doesn’t speak to me, but you know what I mean. I mean I could’ve ruined everything. I did. I ruined everything. I fucked our entire friendship dynamic up and there was no going back.

                Why would Nico ever like me back? Have you met me? I’m a fucking idiot who ruins everything and smells like pure chlorine. These thoughts rattled around in my head the entire walk home. I kept trudging on, filled with lasagna and regret. I don’t even remember actually physically walking home, but soon enough I was there, outside our apartment complex. I opened the door and walked up the stairs, where I got out my key and unlocked the door.

                Gabe was drunk. Very drunk.

                He shouted something at me. I didn’t look at him, I just locked the door behind me and walked to my room. He yelled again and I felt something heavy hit the floor. I looked back and saw that he pushed the kitchen table over, sending everything on top of it crashing to the ground. Brown glass from his beer bottles scattered the floor. I looked away from glass and up at Gabe. He started making his way over to me yelling, with his fists clenched. I processed what was going on and I ran into my room, making it in just before he could grab the back of my shirt. I hurriedly locked the door and hoped to God he didn’t have the strength to knock it down.

                I forgot to tell my mom about going to Nico’s after school. Shit.  She must’ve been so worried. Shit. I wondered if she was okay. Hopefully she was asleep, with the bedroom door locked. I would have to apologize to her tomorrow. Profusely.

                I sat on my bed and let my thoughts about my mother, and Gabe, and the implants consume me. That was, until I remembered what happened at Nico’s. I smacked myself on the head. How could I be so stupid? Why would he like me? I mean, he likes me yeah, but why would he… _like_ like me? I’m just a hearing impaired idiot.

                I laughed, momentarily distracted from my doubts. We would be a horrible couple. There a literally no two people who are less suitable for each other. A deaf kid and a mute kid, what a pair, the two of us. But, that’s also what kinda makes us perfect for each other. The fact that we would be the worst possible people to be together, just made the idea of being together more fun. Screw destiny, screw the odds.

                That brought me to thinking, was I really ready to be in a relationship? Which was an asshole thing to do because _I_ kissed _him_ so I couldn’t really back out and say I’m not ready (though knowing Nico he would understand and not try to push me or make me do anything that made me uncomfortable). Though, knowing Nico he was thinking about this being the initiation of a relationship.

                So what did it mean to be in a relationship? Really, it just sort of felt like a word. I mean we were in a relationship before I kissed him, it was just a different kind. So what defined a romantic relationship? Kissing? Hugging? Hand holding?  Making other people uncomfortable with public displays of affection? What constitutes a relationship? What if what I think makes us ‘boyfriends’ is different from what Nico thinks?

                All these questions and no answers were just making me more stressed and more confused. I wanted to just forget about it and go to sleep, but I just couldn’t. It was bothering me. What was I going to say to him tomorrow? How was I going to feel when I saw him? Christ I need to stop. Okay.

                It’s going to be fine. It is, actually. Because I just realized, who cares? Who cares what makes a relationship, or what makes us a couple? I enjoy being around Nico, no matter what we’re doing. I could be watching paint dry, but as long Nico was there with me, most likely making some sort of sarcastic remark, I would be happy. Just the thought of Nico made my heart feel light, and it was silly I was nervous about it.

                 I became aware of my surroundings. I was there, now lying on my bed, with Gabe in the living room or kitchen, just a few feet away, and my mom a room over hopefully getting some rest. Somewhere, not even a mile away Nico was lying in bed. Maybe he was thinking about me, or the kiss, or maybe he was worrying about how we were so going to fail that History project, but the thought of him lying there just made me happy. Isn’t that weird? The fact that another human simply existing could do that to you?

                 I turned on my side and suddenly felt very alone. I felt kinda small too, when you think about it. The world, the universe, I was just a speck, a blip. Was I insignificant? No. I had my own universe. That’s what a relationship is, I decided. A universe. It’s separate from everything else in the world, in existence. No one will ever feel exactly what Nico and I feel, only us. We have our own universe, in each other.

                 I have my own universe and its name was Nico di Angelo.


	13. Nico

               Of course, History was the first class of the day. I got to class unnecessarily early, like I did every morning. I guess the thought of being late just made me nervous. I mean, I get ready really quick, and I don’t have to walk all that far to go to school. I just get ready, eat breakfast, and make my way to school. So I just get there early. It’s nice I can sit in class in silence for a while.

                So I just sat there drawing and internally freaking out. Percy wasn’t even I the room yet, but I could feel the awkwardness already.

                “You alright Nico?” Mr. Brunner asked. I turned around, startled, and remembered he was sitting at his desk in the opposite corner of the back of the room. I relaxed a little bit and nodded, though he didn’t seem convinced. “How is your project with Percy going?”

                Great. It’s great. It’s just, it’s just coasting. Superb. Couldn’t be better. I must have been making a sarcastic expression because Mr. Brunner just laughed. I shot him a confused expression, but he just waved it away.

                “Try to get some work done in class today.” He said when he stopped chuckling. I smiled and nodded. Something about people laughing uncontrollably was always funny to me. I returned to my doodling and killed time until class started.

                Honestly, I didn’t even notice Percy actually come in. I mean Mr. Brunner took attendance and told us to start working and I just looked up from my sketch book and around the room to see people scooting their desks together.

                I looked nervously to the desk next to mine. There Percy was, completely oblivious to the screeching of his desk against the floor. He stopped awkwardly close and looked at the guideline he had taken out and put on his desk. Shit.

                This was a really bad idea. Like waiting ‘till the last minute to do an assignment, or pouring water on an electrical appliance. My heart was racing and there were butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t even look to see if anyone was watching, I just grabbed Percy by the shoulder and pulled him into a kiss.

                I don’t really know what the plan was, or what I hoped to accomplish, but whatever it was, I accomplished it. Percy was surprised at first and almost pulled away, but realized what was going on and leaned back in. As far as kisses go, well as far as kisses go I actually don’t know shit because last night was my first. It wasn’t like, ravishing, but it wasn’t particularly gentle either. We both just sat there with our lips locked. For as long as the kiss lasted, I don’t particularly remember breathing at any point, but I guess it didn’t seem all that important at the time.

                We didn’t even stop until I heard a unified chorus of teenage oohing. I broke the kiss faster than the speed of sound and whipped my head in the general vicinity of Jason and Piper. My face was bright red and I was breathing heavily under the weight of everyone’s eyes on me and Percy. Mr. Brunner yelled at them to get back to work and then mumble something about how he didn’t want Jason and Piper to work together because _they_ were a couple and now…

                I looked over at Percy. Who was also beet red. He was also breathing heavy, but more likely from the kiss. My face started to heat up again and Percy laughed at me. I hit him on the arm in mock anger and turned away to work on the project. I tried to focus on maybe getting work done, but Percy grabbed my hand under the desk and kissed the side of my head. My face flushed and I went back to working. He didn’t actually do anything for the rest of the block except watch me write, mostly because he was holding my hand with the hand he uses to write. Not like I minded, he didn’t know the answers to any of the questions anyway. That was rude. I’m an asshole.

                I got a lot of work done in class, but I didn’t let Percy know that. The less work there is to do after school the less time he’ll spend at my house. That’s when I remembered its Friday.

                The bell rang, and the students put the desks back noisily and haphazardly. I had to (to much of my dismay) let go of Percy’s hand to pick up my things. Percy waited for me to get my things and we headed to Art together. He reached his hand out as for me to grab it but something about blatant public displays of affection made me really uncomfortable so I shook my head no. He looked a little scared, as if I was changing my mind and I practically dropped my books to try to explain to him that I was just uncomfortable with so many people being around.

                He eventually caught on and smiled at me signing ‘I understand’. I smiled and nodded in appreciation. We sat at our usual table in the back working on a shading assignment the teacher left for the substitute to give us. Percy finished fairly quickly and again spent the entire rest of the block staring at me.  I would look up at him occasionally and the look in his eyes would make my heart stop. He looked at me like I was the entire world to him. So I would pretend I wasn’t blushing and would return to shading my sphere. Eventually I did finish and I realized I had a question I needed an answer to. I looked Percy in the eyes.

                ‘Are we dating?’ I signed slightly embarrassed at the awkward question. He looked sort of surprised but he responded just as confused.

                ‘I don’t know… you want to be?’ He asked also embarrassed.

                ‘I don’t know, what does dating entail?’ Percy just shrugged at this. ‘O-K, meet me outside school again.’

                Percy nodded and we parted ways for the rest of the school day as the bell rang. The rest of the day actually went kind of fast. In two of my other classes we watched movies, so soon enough it was time to go home. I waited outside the main entrance to the school for Percy. He was taking a while so I sat down on one of the benches and went through my sketch book. Eventually I found a picture I needed to touch up and started adding bits and erasing bits. I had a bad habit of abandoning my drawings.

                Most of the foot traffic had come and gone and it was pretty quiet. I knew Percy had exited the building when the door flew opened and banged against the wall loudly. He was there whooping and hollering with Annabeth following behind him. Before he saw me, or remembered that I would be out there waiting, he turned to Annabeth and started signing rapidly. Because of the angle I couldn’t see what he was signing but I did notice Annabeth looking directly at me.

                “He’s really excited” She shouted to me while signing to Percy. I blushed. Annabeth smiled as I walked over. I stopped before I reached them and Annabeth completely left the conversation to speak with me. Percy turned around bewildered and saw me. He quickly looked to the ground and blushed.

                “So you kissed him, huh?” She asked with a grin on her face. I nodded and signed to her.

                ‘He kissed me first.’

                “Did he?” She said sounded like a mother who found out her son stole another kid’s cookie or something. She turned around to Percy accusingly. Percy just stepped back a bit, and found another spot on the ground to look at. “He didn’t mention that.”

                She turned back around. “Look Nico, you’re great and all, but Percy’s my friend, and if you break his heart…” She let her threat hang in the air.

                ‘If he breaks mine?’ I signed, surprised at how much sign language I’d learned already. Annabeth turned to look at Percy again.

                “Give me a call. But try not to break up because I’ve got a lot of stuff on my hands and I don’t have the time to beat up either of you.” She said as she walked away. I turned around to wave goodbye, and she was gone.

                Amazingly, Percy was still looking at the exact same spot. Other than a piece of gum, there was nothing there. What an idiot. I grabbed his hand and started walking in the direction of my home. We walked in silence to my house, until I remembered I was holding his and dropped it. Percy looked at me confused.

                ‘Sorry.’

                ‘For what?’ He signed, then grabbing my hand again. I just blushed and walked faster to my house. When we got there I knocked on the door twice and waited. Giovanna opened the door and smiled.

                ‘Food, chicken O-K?’ she signed much to our surprise. He smiled and nodded and signed yes. She beamed and went to the kitchen to prepare. Percy looked around the room.

                ‘Whiteboard?’

                ‘Upstairs.’

                ‘Still?’ He signed making his way up the staircase. I didn’t respond, I just followed his lead up the stairs and to my room. He opened the door, walked in, and flopped down on my bed. I followed and closed the door behind me. He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say, ‘Are we gonna do something?’ in question to me closing the door. I thought about last night. I blushed fiercely and Percy laughed. Every time he stopped laughing he would look over at me and start all over again. Eventually I got irritated and somehow decided the only way to stop him was physical altercation, so tackled him. He stopped laughing when I had him pinned to the bed. He looked up at me.

                He gave me a look which was a mix between ‘bring it on’, and ‘what the hell are you doing?’ I wasn’t really sure what I thought pinning him to the bed was going to accomplish. Do I kiss him? Maybe I should just get off. Yeah, I should probably just not push anything right now. I moved to get off of him, but his hands flew to my hips and pulled me back.

                I shot him a quizzical look. I saw where this was going. I must’ve looked scared or surprised or something not too good, because Percy immediately let go and pushed me back a little.

                ‘Sorry, I’m sorry, Nico I didn’t mean to go so fast I’m sorry.’ He signed frantically. ‘Annabeth said I should…’

                I cut him off, ‘Since when do you listen to Annabeth?’ Percy stopped for a moment and I could tell he was thinking ‘Yeah, when do I ever listen to Annabeth?’ I then realized that Percy and I have a project to do. I climbed off of Percy, got off the bed, and sat down in my chair. I opened the laptop and turned it on. I heard Percy uncap the whiteboard pen and I turned back to look at him. He finished writing and threw the pen at me, not realizing I had already turned around. It hit my face.

                ‘What?’ I signed, a little agitated.

                “Can we at least kiss again?” I looked from the board, and up to Percy, who seemed eager for a boy whose cheeks were turning pink. Did I want to kiss Percy Jackson? Yeah. Hell yeah. Did I know any way to go about doing it? No. Hell no. I have literally no experience with kissing outside of the two I’ve shared with Percy. I glanced back at my laptop, sighed and turned back to Percy.

                ‘Yeah.’ I signed almost nervously. Percy tried to contain his excitement as I walked over.  I sat down next to him on the bed. He motioned for me to move closer. I sat there uncomfortably close to Percy. ‘How do we…?’

                ‘I don’t know.’

                Both of our kisses before had been sudden and unplanned, so neither of us knew what we were doing. Percy ended up making the first move, which was to put his hand behind my head and pull me in closer. Percy moved closer, but our lips still hadn’t met. This is what I consider the ‘awkward breathing part’ where we both just sat there breathing on each other, as we stared at the other’s lips. Eventually we both noticed each other staring and laughed uncomfortably. When we stopped Percy put his hand back on the back of my head and started to move in.

                “Nico, è il momento per la cena!” Giovanna yelled which of course made me jump back, and made Percy fall on top of me. I laid there awkwardly with Percy, who was too confused to move, on top of me. I wormed my arm out from under him and he looked at me.

                ‘Food.’ I signed looking at Percy. Percy realized nodded and looked down. He must have realized he was on top of me because he immediately got off. I got up and hopped off the bed. Percy stood by my door and shifted awkwardly. I took a sharp intake of breath. That mother fucker had a boner. Jesus H. Christ.

                ‘Are you kidding me?’

                ‘What?’

                ‘You are not sitting at the table like that, Percy.’ I signed then pointing at his crotch. Percy turned bright red and tried to cover the fact that he obviously had an erection.

                ‘What am I supposed to do?’

                “Nico ha fatto mi senti?” Giovanna shouted again.

                ‘Just, just don’t let Giovanna see it.’ I said, not realizing I was staring. Percy grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the door as a way to indicate I should stop fucking staring at his dick like an idiot. I looked at him and to the door and back at him, and back at the door. Percy rolled his eyes and opened it, waiting for me to go through first.

                Dinner was great except for how goddamn fucking awkward it was. All I could think about was almost kissing Percy and his fucking boner. We had chicken parm and salad with a side of tangible discomfort. He didn’t communicate at all through most of it, we just ate. Giovanna understood that I wasn’t in the mood to translate, so she just signed what she knew to Percy who tried to respond with only ‘yes’ and ‘no’. So no, things weren’t actually bad until Percy put his fucking hand on my thigh and made me jump and fall out of my fucking seat. Giovanna asked if I was okay and I nodded and looked up at Percy from the floor.

                He looked at me worriedly, and confused, not thinking that I would fall out of my chair. What the hell did he expect to happen? I got back up and resisted the urge to punch him in the shoulder forcefully. The rest of the meal Percy fucking kept his and on my thigh and I tried to listen to Giovanna without blushing. I finished dinner as quickly as possible and dragged Percy away from the table. Giovanna said something about me being rude because Percy wasn’t done eating. But I just marched his ass up the stairs and into my room.

                ‘I wasn’t done.’ Percy signed with somewhat of a smirk.

                ‘Yes, you were.’  I signed before I threw his smug ass down on the bed. As suave as he thought he was, he looked terrified. I crawled on top of him.

                ‘Only one of us can top.’ Percy signed trying to look at my face and not my crotch. He was right, and I was definitely not a top. Percy saw his chance to flip me over so that I was on my back, and was hovering over me.

                ‘What are you gonna do?’ I signed. I learned something just then. You can’t sign sexily. At all. Ever.

                Percy smirked and started leaning down to kiss me. I put my hand over his mouth and pushed him back.

                ‘Just kissing.’ I signed, expecting him to roll his eyes or give that sideways smile but he nodded understandingly. He gave me a look like ‘Are you ready?’ and I nodded.

                Before I knew it our lips met, and Giovanna was opening the door.

                “Quello era estremamente maleducato giovanotto! Assicurati di chiedere scusa a Perc-”

                I think I might have had an actual heart attack because it literally stopped. What didn’t stop, was Percy, who didn’t see or hear Giovanna come in, and was still kissing my lips feverishly. I pushed him back slightly and he backed off quickly, examining me making sure I was okay. He saw me looking at my door way and horror and went to look over there as well. He saw Giovanna and jumped back, almost falling off the bed.

                The most surprising part was that Giovanna just laughed and said ‘Next time wait until I’m out of the house, will you?’ as she walked out and closed the door behind her, still laughing. Percy looked away from the door and back over to me. We were both blushing really badly.

                 ‘We’re really bad at this.’ I signed looking up at the ceiling.

                 ‘Yeah, no kidding.’ He signed looking out the window. It was late. ‘What did Giovanna say?’

                 I laughed. ‘Don’t fuck when she’s home.’ Percy turned bright red. He turned away in embarrassment. ‘It’s late.’

                 ‘It’s Friday.’ I signed remembering what I wanted to ask him in Art class. ‘Did you want to stay over?’

                 Percy who was getting up off the bed stopped and thought for a moment. I did know about his mother and step father, but I didn’t really know what they were like. I couldn’t imagine his step father was very kind to him.

                 ‘Yeah, I just need to text my mom and let her know where I am.’ He said rubbing the back of his neck, a little embarrassed.

                ‘I’ll go ask Giovanna.’ I signed looking up at Percy. He laughed. Like she would want him to stay over now. I grabbed the whiteboard and marker, and headed down the hall and knocked on Giovanna’s door. She opened it and saw me. Before she could say anything I started writing on the whiteboard.

               “Can Percy stay over?”

                She laughed, probably because I was clearly blushing, and nodded.

               “Sì, ma non fare niente di stupido.” She said as she closed her door. I smiled and turned back around and headed towards my room. Percy was sitting cross-legged on my bed as he texted his mother. He looked up from his phone and signed.

               ‘What did she say?’

               ‘Yes, as long as we don’t do anything stupid.’ I signed before I turned to close my door behind me.

               ‘No promises.’ He signed and winked. He picked up his phone and sent his text immediately returning his attention to me. ‘So what qualifies as stupid anyway?’

                I smirked and rushed in for a kiss. When I pulled back, Percy looked beyond shocked.

               ‘That.’

               ‘Not fair.’ He signed pouting as I laid down behind him. He fell back so that his head was resting on my chest. We laid there for a while until Percy’s phone buzzed. Percy shot up and unlocked his phone. Before I had time to sit up, Percy had responded to his mother’s text and thrown his phone on the floor. He flopped back down on his back and hit his head on my chest. Apparently it didn’t hurt him as much as it hurt me. He looked over at me with an expression that read ‘what now?’

               ‘What time is it?’ I signed.

               ‘8:30’

               ‘It’s time for bed.’

               ‘It’s 8:30!’ Percy signed protestant, and surprised at how early it was.

               ‘Exactly.’ I said sitting up, which cause Percy to lift his head. I got off the bed and went to my dresser for pajamas.

                I turned to Percy.

               ‘You’re not serious, are you?’ He signed dreadfully.

               ‘You need P-J’s’ I signed completely serious.

               ‘I’ll sleep in my underwear when the time comes, but it’s 8:30!’

               ‘Yes, you’ve mentioned that.’ I signed, then turning to get my pajamas out of the drawer. Without thinking I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down, then kicking them the rest of the way off. I put my pajama pants on and turned around to see Percy blushing and staring me up and down.

               ‘Why did you look?!’ I signed angrily.

               ‘Why did you just drop your pants down?!’ Percy returned agitated at the fact that the blame was being put on him. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants and threw them at him. He caught them, but then promptly dropped them on the floor. I ignored it and started to crawl into bed. I had just lifted the covers, when Percy picked me up by the waist. I hit him in the side, as a reflex. He winced and continued to carry me out the door and down the stairs to the living room, where he sat me down on the couch.

                He grabbed the TV remote and turned it on. He sat next to me and channel surfed until he found something he liked. I think it was Modern Family. He did eventually turn to me and when he did I protested.

               ‘Bed.’

               ‘No.’

               ‘Yes.’

               ‘Modern Family.’

               ‘No, bed.’

               ‘It’s 8:30.’

               ‘Exactly.’

               Percy let out an exasperated sigh. Something was telling me that even if I tried to get up and go upstairs, Percy would just pick me up again and bring me back down. I gave in and started watching when I realized that Percy was examining the remote. I looked over at him and realized he was looking for the subtitles button. He found it, but it was connected to the mute button. I didn’t want to tell Percy because he was already really excited and into the show. The only thing keeping me awake was hearing Percy’s laugh. It was probably my favourite sound in the world. I yawned and realized I needed something to drink.

               I tapped Percy on the shoulder. ‘You need anything?’ I asked pointing at the kitchen.

              ‘Do you have hot chocolate?’ He signed timidly, as if making a hot chocolate would be the most inconvenient thing in the world.

              ‘Of course.’ I signed, then going into the kitchen. I hopped on to the counter and went through the cabinet above the microwave. I pulled out two packets of Swiss Miss (aka the best hot chocolate brand ever) and got off the counter. I grabbed two mugs and the milk from the fridge. I poured the milk and packet in and put the mug in the microwave. I took the mug out after a minute or two and put the other in. I stirred the one as I waited for the timer to go off. I grabbed he mugs and walked carefully into the living room. I handed both mugs to Percy, who took both, confused. I went over to the closet and got the big floofy blanket. Yes, the big floofy blanket. That’s what it’s called. It’s big, it’s floofy, it’s a blanket.

               I walked back to my spot on the couch and pulled the blanket over the both of us. Percy smiled gratefully and handed me my mug. I finished my hot chocolate pretty quickly and put in on the coffee table. I yawned, suddenly aware of how tired I was. Percy scooted closer but I put my arm out to stop him. He looked over, confused and I pushed him back a little. He scooted back to where he was, still confused. I grabbed one of the pillows, put it on Percy’s lap and laid down.  Percy stiffened out of surprise, but eventually shifted and relaxed. I was facing the TV, and was still watching for a while (I’d heard of Modern Family before, but never seen it, and it was actually pretty good) but eventually I was out.

                I think I faintly remember being lifted, but I was definitely out cold. I did eventually wake up to my surprise, in my bed, with Percy’s arms around my waist.


	14. Percy

                I woke up to my mother shaking my shoulders and crying. She was too disarrayed to sign, but I knew she had been worried about me last night. She held me tightly when I sat up. I didn’t pull away or let go, even though I knew I had to get ready. She held me and cried for little while, but eventually let go.

                ‘School.’ she signed as she got off my bed and walked out my bedroom door. I got out from under the covers and got dressed. It wasn’t until I was brushing my teeth that I realized I was going to have to see Nico. I spent the rest of my morning being a nervous wreck. I grabbed my backpack from my room and went into the kitchen for breakfast. My mom was sitting at the table drinking her coffee. Gabe must’ve still been passed out on the couch. Disgusting. I poured my cereal and sat down at the table.

                ‘I’m sorry.’ I signed once I put the bowl down.

                ‘Where were you?’ She signed, concerned.

                ‘A friend’s house for a project.’

                ‘What friend?’

                ‘Nico, he’s new this year.’ I signed, hoping I wasn’t blushing.

                ‘You going back tonight?’ Was I? I almost hoped we would finish the project in class today, just so I wouldn’t have to be around him. Not that I didn’t like him anymore, I was just extremely afraid he didn’t like me. He was probably mad at me for kissing him. I looked back at my mother and nodded.

                ‘If not I’ll text you.’ I signed. I finished my cereal and put the bowl in the sink. I walked back over to my mom and hugged her. She turned and kissed me on the forehead. I kissed her on the cheek and walked out the door.

                Nico didn’t even seem to notice me when I walked into class. He was just slouched over his sketchbook, doodling away. I quietly thanked God and walked over to my seat. Eventually Mr. Brunner instructed the groups to get together and Nico heard the desks move and looked up.

                He didn’t look particularly mad, but he didn’t look all that happy either. He looked almost as nervous as I was. I moved my desk over next to his, avoiding eye contact the entire time. I opened my folder and got out the guideline for the project, so that I had something to look at other than Nico.

                He was mad. He hated me. I was stupid to think he would like me. I ruined our friendship, and for what? A kiss? I shouldn’t have fucking kissed him. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder and I was being pulled in the direction of Nico. It took me more than a few seconds to figure out that he was kissing me. I jumped back a little in surprise, but didn’t break the kiss.

                It’s one thing to kiss somebody. It’s a completely different thing when you thought the person kissing you hated your guts and was never going to speak to you again. I realized that Nico was leaning over the desks a little because I had jumped back, so I leaned forward. We sat there kissing for quite some time before Nico broke away.

                I didn’t understand why until I saw our classmates looking at us and whispering to each other. Mr. Brunner must’ve said something because they slowly turned back around. I didn’t realize how much I was blushing or heavy I was breathing until Nico turned back to look at me. His face turned an even deeper red when we made eye contact. I laughed, a little at Nico, a little at the fact that I thought he hated me. He hit me on the arm in what I’d assume was an attempt to be cool, and cover up the fact that he was blushing like an idiot. He turned away in anger and began working on the project. Most people probably would’ve left him alone thinking he was serious, but I knew better. I actually found it oddly endearing. I found his hand under the desk and held it. He jolted slightly, and I kissed him on the side of his head. He blushed even harder and continued to work.

                I sat there for the rest of class, switching between watching his hand, and looking at his face. His cheeks eventually did fade back to their normal color, but would turn just a little pink whenever he glanced over and saw me staring. By the end of class, he seemed to have gotten most of the project done, or at least written anyway. He didn’t say anything about me not having to come over, but even if it were done I’m pretty sure he would say it wasn’t, just so we could hang out.

                They bell must’ve rung because I felt the desks being pushed against the floor, back to where they should be. Nico let go of my hand and I stood and waited as he gathered his things. I reached my hand back out for him to hold it, but when I did he looked at it uncomfortably and shook his head no. My heart stopped for a second, at the idea of him having second thoughts. He must’ve seen that I was worried because he very clumsily tried to sign something about not being comfortable in public. Relieved, I signed back that I completely understood, and we made our way to class.

                We ended up having a substitute, who gave us a shading assignment. I finished it pretty quickly, mostly because I was used to shading, and partially because I was the teacher’s pet and didn’t really have to try too hard to get a good grade. Nico, on the other hand was a complete perfectionist, and spent practically the entire class working on the assignment. I sat, slouched over the table with my head resting on my arms watching him again. He looked up at me from time to time, blushed, and continued to work. With five minutes left in class, Nico had decided he was done, and gave his paper to the sub. When he sat back down he looked me in the eyes and signed.

                ‘Are we dating?’ He asked slightly embarrassed. That’s… that’s a good question. I didn’t really think about until now. Were we? I would gladly date him, but honestly I guess it’s up to him.

                ‘I don’t know… you want to be?’ I asked still a little confused and taken aback by the question.

                ‘I don’t know, what does dating entail?’ The funny thing was, sometimes Nico actually new words in ASL that I didn’t. He liked his big words, that’s for sure, whether it was signing or writing. I thought about his question. What does dating entail? I couldn’t really think of anything, so I just shrugged. Nico thought for a moment.

                ‘O-K, meet me outside school again.’

                I nodded in response, just as the bell rang. We left and went our separate ways for the rest of the day. I spent most of the day waiting for the last bell to ring so I could go hang out with Nico. That’s when I remembered Annabeth was in my last block class. The teacher gave us a packet and told us to work with a partner (whatever we didn’t finish was homework), naturally Annabeth and I worked together. Well, Annabeth worked while I went on about Nico.

                ‘How are things with Nico?’ She signed, not even looking up from the packet. By the time she was done signing she had figured out the answer and wrote it down in both of our packets.

                ‘Fantastic. Great.’ I signed remembering while Annabeth is a genius, there are words she just doesn’t know.

                ‘Yeah?’ She looked up from the packet. I must’ve been beaming or something because she was clearly curious. ‘What happened?’

                ‘He kissed me’ I again realized that she probably wouldn’t know the word for kissed so I wrote it down. When she read it her eyes widened and she looked up at me and smiled.

                ‘You kissed?’ She questioned excitedly. I nodded, smiling like an idiot. ‘Percy that’s great! Are D-A-T-I-N-G now?’

                ‘I don’t know if we’re dating.’ I signed. She paid watched carefully, and signed for me to repeat. ‘Dating.’ I signed again, so that Annabeth could understand, and learn the word. She nodded and signed it back to me, making sure she had it right. I nodded.

                ‘That’s still great though! Just give Nico some time. Don’t rush anything. Let him make the first move.’ She signed, then moving on to the packet again. I spent the rest of class going on and on about the kiss, and holding his hand, until I noticed that all of our classmates had left. I tapped Annabeth on the shoulder.

                ‘Bell ring?’ I asked. She nodded nonchalantly and went back to filling out our packets. ‘I’ve got to meet Nico!’ I signed rushing out of class. Annabeth flew out of her seat behind me and eventually caught up to give me my packet.

                ‘How long?’ I asked.

                '15, maybe 20 minutes.’

                ‘What? Why? We should’ve left!’

                ‘I wanted to finish the packet, and you were having the time of your life talking about Nico. If I knew you had to meet up with him I would’ve let you know.’ She signed with all her wonderful sentence structure. ‘I’m sorry.’

                ‘It’s fine. I just hope he’s still there.’ I signed a little nervously.

                ‘I can’t believe he really kissed you.’ She signed shaking her head and laughing a little. ‘di Angelo, who would have thought?’

                ‘I really like him Annabeth.’

                ‘I can tell.’ She signed as I flung the front door of the school open and hollered. I didn’t know how loud I was, or what it sounded like, but it felt right. I was excited and jittery (in a good way), and I needed to let it out.

                ‘He kissed me.’ I signed again. ‘He actually kissed me!’ My hands were flying in excitement.

                ‘I’m happy for you Percy.’ She signed, and then suddenly walked away. I turned around to see why she left and saw Nico standing there, blushing slightly. Holy shit. He saw that whole thing. Holy shit I hope he couldn’t see what I was signing, oh God Annabeth’s gonna tell him everything I said. I looked at the ground in hopes of not making eye contact.

                 Seeing as Nico could actually hear, Annabeth just spoke to him. I tried to see what Nico was signing, but Annabeth blocked my view, and my peripheral wasn’t all that great. At one point she turned around and looked at me harshly. I stepped back a little and found somewhere else on the ground to look. She returned to talking to Nico for a little bit, and walked away, waving goodbye. Nico walked towards me and grabbed my hand, puling me along.

                We walked in silence the way there, but I didn’t really mind. I the only thing I did mind was Nico abruptly letting go of my hand.

                ‘Sorry’ he signed quickly.

                ‘For what?’ I signed in return, I grabbed his hand and swung it slightly as we walked. Honestly, we were holding hands in History just a little while ago. Then I remembered how he was uncomfortable holding my hand where people could actually see it, but by the time I realized I shouldn’t be holding his hand, we were at his house. He knocked twice, and Giovanna came to the door.

                ‘Food, chicken O-K?’ She signed to my surprise. She seemed very excited about having learned something and being able to communicate, even if it was only a little. I smiled at her, nodded, and signed yes. She smiled widely and went into the kitchen. I looked around.

                ‘Whiteboard?’ I questioned, still trying to locate it. Hey, it beats signing all the time.

                ‘Upstairs.’

                ‘Still?’ I signed in a bit of disbelief. I kinda figured he needed it to speak with Giovanna, but I guess by now they had something figured out. I made my way upstairs, and for once, Nico was the one following. I walked into his room and flopped down on his bed. Nico closed the door behind him. I knew that he just liked having his door closed, but I gave him a look that suggested we were going to do something bad. His face turned deep red. I laughed at the fact his face could even turn that red, and every time I was about to stop, I looked back over and he was still blushing. I didn’t actually stop until I realized Nico was pining me to the bed.

                Holy shit. I was sort of surprised, but also a little turned on. Not that I’d ever actually admit that, but hey if Nico wasn’t even a shred as observant as I thought he was, he would notice that my pants were getting just a little too tight. He hovered over me, but didn’t do anything, other than look extremely confused as to what to do next. He started to move away but I instinctively grabbed his hips and pulled him back. He looked at me questioningly and his eyes widened. He looked almost terrified.

                I let go and pushed him back. I shouldn’t have done that. Why the hell did I do that?

                ‘Sorry, I’m sorry, Nico I didn’t mean to go so fast I’m sorry.’ I signed frantically. ‘Annabeth said I should…’ He cut me off.

                ‘Since when do you listen to Annabeth?’ I stopped for a moment and thought. He has appoint, when do I ever listen to Annabeth. I mean she was totally right in this particular situation, but to be fair, he’s kind of go a point. Nico climbed off of me and went over and sat at his desk. He started up the laptop while I reached for the whiteboard and marker. I sat for a moment thinking if I really wanted to ask. I mean I really wanted to kiss him, but after that I wasn’t too sure. No. I wanted to at least kiss him again, mostly because it was the greatest feeling in the world. I at least had to ask. Every question you don’t ask is a no until you ask it. I uncapped the pen and began to write. When I was done I threw the pen in Nico’s direction without looking.

                ‘What?’ He signed a little agitated, probably because I just hit him in the face with a pen. Great, he’s really gonna want to make out now, nice going Percy. He looked from the board to me a few times and eventually sighed.

                ‘Yeah.’ He signed, is hands just a little bit shaky. I bounced on the bed as he walked over, a little too excited. He sat down next to me on the bed, but was too far away. I motioned for him to move closer and he scooted over uncomfortably.

                ‘How do we…?’ He signed confused and awkward.

                ‘I don’t know.’ I admitted. I sat there thinking about how all the kisses I had seen on TV and in movies went. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him in a little. I moved in a little closer but our lips didn’t meet. We sat there for a while looking at each other’s lips. When we both realized that we were just sitting there staring we both laughed uneasily. When we stopped laughing I put my hand back where it was before and pulled him in again. I was just going to go for it, no hesitating.

               Suddenly, Nico backwards, which caused me to fall on top of him. It happened so quickly that I sort of just laid there, on top of him still dazed. I only really realized what was going on when Nico pulled his arm out from under me.

                ‘Food.’ He signed making awkward eye contact. I nodded to him and felt my jeans tighten. Shit, now? Really? I was lucky he didn’t notice the first time but this was pushing it. I carefully climbed off of him and stood by the door. I tried to shift around to somehow make it stop, not that I really thought it was going to work. Nico got off the bed and looked at me quizzically as I stood there shifting. Then he noticed.

                ‘Are you kidding me?’ He signed slightly agitated.

                ‘What?’ I signed in return unrealistically hoping that he was talking about something else.

                ‘You are not sitting at the table like that, Percy.’ He signed then pointing at my crotch. I felt my face heat up and I tried to cover it with my hands.

                ‘What am I supposed to do?’

                  Nico paused for a moment.

                ‘Just, just don’t let Giovanna see it.’ He signed, staring.  Jesus Christ he was fucking staring. I grabbed his shoulder and pushed it in the direction of the door in hopes that he would stop staring. He looked at me and to the door and back at me, and back at the door. I rolled my eyes and opened it, waiting for him to go through first.

                Dinner was amazing just like last night. Well, the food was anyway. I sat there awkwardly trying to answer Giovanna’s questions about my family, and my hearing, and all that jazz, while also trying to get rid of you know what. It wasn’t until halfway in that I realized Annabeth was right (which she always was. I don’t know why I don’t listen to her more often). I had to wait for Nico to make the first move, or I at least had to make him think he was making the first move. If there’s one thing I know about Nico di Angelo is that he will do anything purely out of spite. One time Mr. Brunner moved him to the front of the class in History (as an attempt to get us to focus and not talk to each other), and Nico started fuming and carved a whole into the desk with his pen. Safe to say Mr. Brunner moved him back.

                So, I may or may not have ran my hand up the inside of Nico’s upper thigh during dinner. I expected him to startled, sure, but I didn’t think he was going to jump out of his seat. I went in cocky, but ended up just being worried, and a little surprised. He glared at me as he got back into his chair and visually reassured Giovanna that he was fine. So, since he was obviously fine, I put my hand back on his thigh. He jolted a little again and tried his best not to scowl at me. We spent the rest of dinner with my hand on his inner thigh, and Nico trying not to blush. Nico finished what was left on his plate without haste and suddenly dragged me upstairs. I wasn’t done eating yet, but I didn’t really care.

                Nico shoved me into his room and slammed the door behind him.

                ‘I wasn’t done.’ I signed, more than happy that my plan worked.

                ‘Yes you were.’ He signed quickly before throwing me on to the bed. Shit, okay, I think it might have worked a little too well. I thought about that desk with the hole through it. Not a divot, mind you, a hole, straight through. I was screwed, and hopefully not literally, because I am in no way a bottom. No, all I have to do is over power him which is easy physically, because he’s skin and bones, but what Nico lacks in physical intimidation he makes up for in mental intimidation. He isn’t dominant because he is physically, he is because he’s snarky and cocky.

                ‘Only one of us can top.’ I signed in hopes to distract him enough to flip him over. He stopped and thought for a moment. Good. I took the opportunity to flip him on his back and hover over him.

                ‘What are you gonna do?’ Was something I’m sure he meant to be seductive, but he just seemed kinda scared. I smiled and started to lean in, but his hand met my mouth instead of his lips.

                ‘Just kissing.’ He signed. I wasn’t actually planning on doing anything more than that, and was actually nervous about moving on to more than just kissing as well. I looked him in the eyes and nodded sincerely (Is that something you can do? Nod sincerely? Oh well, he understood.), and made sure he was ready. He nodded slightly and I went in.

                I was fucking ravishing his lips. He wasn’t exactly recuperating, but I guess that sort of made it easier so that we weren’t bumping our heads together or anything. It did make me nervous though, because I thought he was putting up with the kiss for me, and I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable or force himself to do anything he didn’t want to. When I felt him push me I practically flung myself off to make sure he was alright. I noticed he wasn’t looking at me but the door. There, of course, stood Giovanna. I, very embarrassingly, stumbled back, and almost on to the floor.

               Thankfully she just laughed. She said something to Nico and left, laughing again. I looked back to Nico who was blushing, probably just as much as I was.

                ‘We’re really bad at this.’ Nico signed as he stared at the ceiling.

                ‘Yeah no kidding.’ I signed in response, looking around the room. I stopped at the window. It was pretty dark out already. ‘What did Giovanna say?’

                 He laughed. If there are three things I want to hear sometime in my life. My mother’s voice, Annabeth explain to me how the Parthenon was built, and Nico’s laugh. Even though I can’t hear him it always warms my heart to see him so happy.

                ‘Don’t fuck when she’s home.’ OH. I could feel my face burning up. I didn’t know old ladies had thoughts like that. I certainly wasn’t going to go that far. I mean I want it to sometime but not now. Nico was staring at me. I turned away.

                ‘It’s late.’ I signed still embarrassed.

                ‘It’s Friday. Did you want to stay over?’ He signed as I was getting off the bed. Do I want to stay over? Do I want to stay up all night with Nico? Do I want to share a bed with him? Do I want to spend as much time with him as I possibly can? Do I want to get a night away from Gabe Ugliano? Yes. Hell yes. I just have to make sure my mom knows where I am so that she doesn’t worry.

                I told Nico I had to text my mom, and he went to ask Giovanna. I laughed at the awkwardness of the situation. I was not going to be able to make eye contact with her for a while. Nico grabbed the whiteboard and marker and headed down the hall. I got my phone out of my bag and sat on the bed. I was mid-text when Nico came back.

                ‘What did she say?’ I signed.

                ‘Yes, as long as we don’t do anything stupid.’ He signed before he turned to close the door be. It was still awkward, but it was good she had a sense of humor and didn’t beat me over the head with a frying pan, Tangled style.

               ‘No promises.’ I signed and winked, hoping to spark something in Nico again. I picked up my phone and sent my text, then returning my attention to him. ‘So what qualifies as stupid anyway?’

                He smirked and went in for a kiss. Taking a mental note, Nico is a sly little shit who likes competition and superiority.

              ‘That.’

              ‘Not fair.’ I signed pouting as he laid down behind me. I went from sitting cross legged to lying down flat, with my head on Nico’s chest. We stayed like that for a while until my phone went off. I shot up and unlocked my phone.

              ‘Sounds good sweetheart, see you tomorrow <3’

               I responded to my mom’s text by telling her thanks and I love her and threw my phone on the floor. I laid back down with my head resting on his chest again. I looked over at Nico. What now? He must’ve read my mind or something.

             ‘What time is it?’ He asked.

             ‘8:30’

             ‘It’s time for bed.’

             ‘It’s 8:30!’ Who the fuck goes to bed at 8:30? Maybe because he lives with Giovanna he got used to her going to bed at an early hour, but 8:30? Christ!

             ‘Exactly.’ He said sitting up, making me lift my head up. He got off the bed and went over to the dresser.

              He turned back around.

             ‘You’re not serious, are you?’ I signed dreadfully.

             ‘You need P-J’s’ He signed completely seriously.

             ‘I’ll sleep in my underwear when the time comes, but its 8:30!’ Some rational part of my brain was telling me sleeping in my underwear in the same bed as Nico might not be such a hot idea, but I ignored it.

            ‘Yes, you’ve mentioned that.’ He signed, then turning to get pajamas out of the drawer.  The he just started to pull down his pants in the middle of the fucking room. I hardly even noticed him out the pajama bottoms on because I was still a little shocked. Turns out, Nico is a briefs kind of person. See, personally I was a fan of boxers, but seeing Nico’s amazing ass might have changed my mind.

            ‘Why did you look?!’ He signed angrily, snapping me back into reality.

            ‘Why did you just drop your pants down?!’ I signed, agitated he was accusing me of purposefully looking when he was the one who just dropped his pants without warning. He grabbed a pair of pajama pants and threw them at me. I caught them, but then dropped to show that I was not going to go to bed yet. He completely ignored it and started to get into bed. Oh no. It’s eight fucking thirty, we are not going to sleep. I went around the bed and grabbed him by the waist just as he had lifted the covers. He hit me hard in the side. I winced at the sudden pain but continued to carry him out the door and downstairs to the living room, where I put him down on the couch.

            I grabbed the TV remote and turned it on. I sat down next to Nico and channel surfed waiting to find something good, or for Nico to try to get up and go back upstairs. Eventually I found Modern Family. I fucking love Modern Family, it’s one of my favourite shows right now. I turned to Nico, surprised he hadn’t tried to get up yet.

            ‘Bed.’

            ‘No.’

            ‘Yes.’

            ‘Modern Family.’

            ‘No, bed.’

            ‘It’s 8:30.’

            ‘Exactly.’

           Christ he just won’t give in. I looked over at the stairs and over to me. He sighed a little and watched the TV. I looked over too. Shit. What the fuck are they saying? I picked up the remote and looked for the subtitles button. Closed Captioning? Anything? I looked back up at the TV and pressed buttons randomly without looking. Eventually I must’ve found it because the subtitles came on. I still couldn’t find what button it was, but what did I care, it was working, and this was a great episode. I always loved the ones about Cam and Mitchell, and this one was about the lesbian couple coming over because their son pulled Lily’s hair and Cam got mad and the principle suggested the make amends and set a good example by having a play date.

            I almost completely forgot Nico was there until he tapped my on the shoulder and asked if I wanted something from the kitchen. I don’t know why but I was seriously craving a hot chocolate. I just didn’t want him to have to go through the trouble of making it.

            ‘Do you have hot chocolate?’

            ‘Of course.’ He signed getting up and going to the kitchen. I returned to watching the television. Next thing I knew Nico was handing me two mugs of hot cocoa and walking over to the closet. He grabbed an enormous, fluffy blanket and hauled it over to the couch. He sat back down and draped the blanket over us. I smiled in appreciation, and handed him a hot chocolate I had realized was his. He practically chugged it and put it down on the table.

           I looked from the TV, over to him as he yawned. I didn’t want to just completely ignore him again, so I started to scoot closer. Nico put his arm out to stop me and pushed me back a little. I scooted back over, confused, and a little hurt. Nico grabbed a pillow and placed it on my lap. He then laid down and rested his head on the pillow. I stiffened a little, surprised and a little nervous about moving and disturbing him, but eventually relaxed. I looked down a few times to check on him, and about half way through the episode he was out. I waited for the episode to end, and picked him up bridal style, and carried him up stairs.

           I pulled the covers and sheets back and tucked him in on the side he was trying to get on earlier, assuming it was his side. I got in close behind him, but turned and faced the other way before falling asleep. He made little squeaking noises in his sleep and it was unbearably adorable. I woke up spooning Nico, with my arms around his waist.


	15. Nico

                I really didn’t want to get up, and despite how unnaturally accepting Giovanna is, I’m sure she wouldn’t want to find us like this. I just couldn’t will myself to move though. I looked out the window to try and see how early it was. My eyes widen and I flipped over so that I was facing Percy. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him excitedly. He blinked a few times and looked at me.

                ‘S-N-O-W’ I signed quickly out of excitement. I pulled back the covers and jumped out of bed. Percy followed suit drearily. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of bed. After what felt like years Percy stood up. He grabbed my head and kissed me on the temple. Not gonna lie, I was too excited about the snow to actually notice. I, still holding his wrist, lugged him down the stairs and opened the front door. Percy, who actually had some sense, stopped and pulled me back before I walked out.

                I stopped and looked at him for a moment, confused and slightly betrayed. He closed the front door and let go of my wrist.

                ‘Cold.’

                ‘Yes, but-‘

                ‘No.’

                I tried to protest, but it turns out Percy is just as stubborn as I am. He walked into the kitchen. I momentarily debated going outside anyway, as he was too far away to stop me, but decided it was a bad idea. There’s your stage 3 morality Kohlberg. I walked into the kitchen upset, and a little disappointed. I sat at the table looking at Percy while he opened every cabinet trying to find cereal. I sat there more than bummed, teetering on depressed.

                That probably sounds ridiculous, getting depressed because I can’t go play in the snow. Some might say I wasn’t actually depressed, but just sad. I wish that were the case. I just get my hopes up so easily, and I’m so sure what I’m hoping for is going to happen that it crushes me when it doesn’t. I also analyze my feelings, rather than feeling them. I want to know why I was so let down. This brings on an overwhelming sense of apathy, which causes me to be constantly thinking ‘I don’t care’ about literally everything.

                Percy slid a bowl of Golden Grams over to me.

                ‘Eat.’

                Yeah I probably should eat. I don’t care though. I don’t care about how good the Golden Grams taste. I don’t care about how hungry I am. I don’t care about the nutritional value the cereal has, or what would happen if I just didn’t eat it.

                Percy put his hand on my shoulder to get my attention.

                I don’t care about Percy. I don’t. I don’t care if he worries about me. I don’t care if he likes me. I don’t care if he hates me. I don’t care if I never saw him again. I don’t care that he probably doesn’t care.

                That’s a lie. I cared about all of those things. I cared about Percy, I really did. In that moment in that state of depression I didn’t, and when I cried, I wasn’t crying about Percy, or Giovanna, or my Mom, or Bianca, I was crying because of my depression. I was crying because I knew I loved them, but I couldn’t feel it. I was crying because I might never get over it, I might have to live with it my entire life. I was crying because I felt like a burden, to Giovanna, to Percy. I was crying because Percy had pulled my chair out and picked me up and was carrying me bridal style to the front door, and eventually outside. I was crying because Percy was right, it was freezing. I was crying because when he put me down in the snow he sat next to me shivering and when I looked at him he smiled and nodded as a way to say ‘It’s all right, I’m here’. I was crying because I knew he loved me. And I was still crying when I rested against his chest and he put his arms around me. I only stopped when Percy threw snow in my face.

                I stopped crying alright. I looked up at him in shock, and he just laughed. For a moment I was tempted to return the favor and shove a handful of snow in his face, but it faded away. What do I care? What good will it do? Percy shot up excitedly and bent over to pick up snow. He packed it into a sphere and threw it at me. I looked at him for a second, and then back down at the snow. It was really cold I should probably go inside. Percy jumped on my back, sending me face first into the snow. Percy got off of me and I sat back up. He grabbed another handful of snow and hurled it at me, then gave me a look like ‘what are you going to do about it?’.

                Fine. FINE. You wanna play Percy? Let’s fucking play. I’ll kick your fucking ass. I grabbed some snow and got on my feet. In retrospect, just throwing a snowball would’ve worked, but no I had to charge him and shove the snow in his face. He laughed again and grabbed snow and ran away from him realizing he was going to show it in my face again. I picked up some snow and packed it into a snowball. I threw it at him while he ran after me. I tried to run away but he was pretty quick. He grabbed me at the waist and tried to stop me, which caused us both to fall into the snow.

                “Nico, che diavolo stanno facendo qui? Il suo congelamento!” Giovanna shouted from the door. I looked up at her nervously from underneath Percy.

                “Signore in cielo quello che sto andando a fare con voi due?” She said in exasperation as she pulled Percy and me up out of the snow.

                “Get dentro. Entrambi si in pigiama...Stai andando a ottenere la polmonite.” She mumbled as she pushed us inside. I hardly think we were outside long enough to get pneumonia. I mean to be fair, neither of us should’ve been outside in just our pajamas.

                “Vai ottenere cambiato.” She said pointing up the stairs. Percy looked at me and tilted his head in the direction of Giovanna as to ask what she said.

                ‘Get changed.’ I signed pointing up stairs. Percy nodded and followed me up to my room. I went over to my dresser and picked out shirts and pants and underwear for both of us. As I bent over and opened the underwear drawer I felt something tug at the bottom of my shirt. I looked behind me and lo and behold, there’s Percy, pulling my shirt up. I stuck my tongue out at him and went back to look for underwear as he pulled the shirt up and over my head. He rested his head on my shoulder and hugged my waist. His arms were literally freezing which made me jump a little. I continued to shuffle through the dresser drawers. At one point Percy let go of me and walked out. To where I’m not quite sure, but I was too busy to really pay it any mind. I grabbed us two pairs of shirts, pants, and underwear, and laid them out on the bed when Percy walked in completely naked.

                I stood over the bed completely stunned. Percy looked at me confused and then tried to see where I was looking. He looked down and realized I was staring at his dick. His hands flew down in attempt to cover himself up and his face turned considerably red. He nodded his head in the direction of the bathroom. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be signing anything, because that would mean moving his hands. He mouthed ‘shower’ to me and made eye contact quickly to make sure I understood.

                Oh. OH. He wants me to shower with him? I didn’t really think we were that far off yet but I didn’t really mind the idea. I mean I was freezing, and I guess I would just not look down at all. Percy turned on his heels and walked out and I followed behind. He walked into the bathroom and turned to close the door behind him as I squeezed in. He looked at me with wide eyes and his face reddened all over again. His hands went back down again as he tried to cover himself up.

                ‘Shower?’ I signed confused because he was confused.

                He nodded still bright red. I went over to the shower and turned the water on. I felt it to make sure it was an alright temperature. I pulled the shower curtain back and looked back at Percy who was almost completely hunched over to try to hide. He looked up at me quickly and then back down at the floor. What happened to the cocky little shit that threw snow in face just a few minutes ago? One of us had to be to coy little shit so I guess it was up to me. I pulled my pants down slowly while looking over at Percy.

                He saw that I was trying to get a rise out of him and shot me a challenging glare, but it didn’t have much of an affect when his face was cherry red. So basically we stood there making faces at each other with our cocks out. Eventually I caved and turned to get into the shower, but not before sticking my tongue out a Percy. I pulled back the curtain and got in with Percy following not too far behind. I stood facing the shower head, in front of Percy. He pushed my shoulder with one hand so that he could heat up from the water, but still left his other hand covering his dick. I chuckled and moved back so that he could warm up.

                He turned around and faced me as the water ran down his body. I followed one droplet down from his collar bone, to his chest, to his abs, to his hand which was hardly covering his dick. I must’ve been staring for a while because Percy’s free hand covered my eyes and pushed my head back slightly. I grabbed his hand and pulled it off my face. I laughed at how embarrassed he was and turned to get some shampoo. I looked back at him and motioned for him to turn around. I poured some shampoo into my hand and Percy thankfully kneeled down on the floor because there was no way I was going to reach the top of his head if we were both standing.

                I massaged the shampoo into Percy’s hair. I started to absent mindedly curly it and Percy moaned a little bit. I don’t think he realized that he did though, so I pretended I didn’t hear it. I eventually stopped and Percy leaned is head forward into the water to rinse the shampoo out. I grabbed the conditioner and started to work it in. I ended up screwing around and making a little Mohawk, to which Percy looked up and laughed. I kissed him on the forehead, which he apparently took as a cue to get up and shampoo my hair.

                It felt nice to have him massaging my scalp and playing with my hair. My hair was fairly longer than his, and he was able to make a ridiculous shampoo Mohawk. He laughed and stepped back so that I could rinse my hair out. I turned around and walked forward so that I could reach the stream of water, however they way Percy was situated cause me to press up against him. He jolted slightly and relaxed, helping rinse the shampoo out of my hair. He rested his head on my shoulder. We stood there under the flow of the water until I heard the phone ring.

                Percy looked at me concerned and I signed ‘Phone’ quickly as I jumped out of the shower. I grabbed a towel from the closet and wrapped it around my waist. I opened the door and rushed down the stairs. I realized when I picked it up that there was no way for me to communicate in this situation. I picked up the phone and stood there with it to my ear like an idiot. I jumped when Percy grabbed the phone and put it on speaker. Percy, said Hello and looked up at me. I understood and waited.

                “Hello, is this the residence of Giovanna Dagostino?” The voice asked. I looked up at Percy and signed ‘yes’.

                “Yes.” Percy’s voice was shaky and he sounded different, because he couldn’t actually hear what he was saying or what he sounded like.

                “This is Saint Claire’s Hospital, Mrs. Dagostino has been in a car accident, she made it to the hospital, but we regret to inform you that she is no longer with us.” The person calling kept on speaking, but I didn’t hear it.

                We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us. We regret to inform you that she is no longer with us.

She’s dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret to inform you that there will be an indefinite hiatus on this work. I'm not quite sure when it will end, but I need to figure out a functioning schedule because everything is nuts right now, as you can probably tell by the extreme delay in updating. My apologizes.


	16. Nico

           So much has happened where do I even begin? It was chaos after everything that happened. I can still hear that person’s voice on the phone; I can still feel my legs running, my face hitting the snow. I wish I didn’t. It was- it- I’m done thinking about it. It was such a dark time for me. I thought I would never dig myself out. I thought this is what I deserve, what I get. I’ve learned that there’s a word for that. Survivor’s guilt. I know I should miss them, but I don’t even remember what they look like anymore. Not really. They had the same nose though. I held on to that much.  
            I felt broken. I was something that needed to be fixed. People aren’t like that. We aren’t machines or toys. We don’t need a knight in shining armor to come along and save us. We heal, we move on. I was young. I couldn’t see a future for myself. All I saw were the awful things that happened to me, all that darkness. It consumed me. I was depressed. I felt like I had lost everything. I was hurting on every level I could imagine. It was probably the worst day of my life. I still hold a little guilt over it, even though I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t.  
            In all honesty the rest if the day was a blur. Like I said I remember running, and hitting the snow. I don’t think I made it out of the front yard. Yes, he was there, but this wasn’t- isn’t about him. It’s about me. This is my story in the end. It always was. You let people into your lives and you let them run the narrative, the plot. You become a background character in your own life. To be fair, he was my knight, a hero. Why should I be the lead in this story when he is so much better than I am? So much kinder? Funnier? Hotter, to be honest with you. I know I know. I hated myself back then. Hard to imagine right?  
            You want to hear more about Percy, huh? Well if you’re so interested ask him. Yeah, yeah I know. Ok where were we? Ha ha right, the worst day of my life. Where’s the world’s smallest violin when you need it? Hey I am taking this seriously! So yes, Percy helped me up and if my vague memories serve correctly he helped me through the rest of the day. Kept me from running.  
            That’s all I wanted to do, run. I don’t know why per se, but I remember my legs feeling jittery. I didn’t want to be in the house, I wanted to be anywhere else. I wanted to run so far away and never look back. Percy kept me in the house, much to my discontent at the time. I was hell oh my god. Inconsolable, but luckily I was drained. I felt like the wind was knocked right out of me.  
            In the morning I woke up at Percy’s house. Apartment yes okay, now we’re getting technical. His mother, Sally, yes I know I know. His mother Sally was there, and his step father was not. Everyday miracles. I was confused to say the least. I think Percy said he texted his mom to let her know he was staying over again, and he told her what happened. She refused to let us be alone at a time like that. The heartbreak I was feeling was not meant to be felt alone. Something like that anyway. Regardless I awoke at Percy’s place extremely confused. I don’t know whether or not I actually woke up and got into the car or was carried. Like I said everything’s a blur.  
            We stayed there for a while, a week or two. Once Gabe, sorry, Percy’s stepdad, uh once he came back we only stayed two more days. He was… not a nice man. Very drunk, very abusive. We left. We were kids. I never really knew what was going through Percy’s head at the time. I never asked. I was a bit of a shut in at the time.  
            Did you know when we met I hated him? I know I said this wasn’t about him, and it isn’t, not fully, but he’s still a part of the story. Anyway, I hated him so much. I was a turbulent new kid with too many hormones. It was awful, I sat in his seat in History. There weren’t assigned seats okay! There were only like 14 kids in the class so we sat wherever! I was, what’s the word? Tilted? Sure let’s go with that. Don’t laugh! I was tilted, and I swore to myself I would hate him. You should’ve seen us try to communicate in the hallway after. It was awful. Well he tried, I just stood there. It’s actually funny looking back. How we ended up being friends is beyond me, honestly.  
            Well yes, more than friends. Those were the days. How did I ever think my life was dark when Percy initiated then ran away from our first kiss. He just turned around, kissed me, and ran. It’s funny looking back. I kind of wanted to kill him at the time though. He was over for a project about Greece we had to work on for History. Everything moved much too fast. It felt natural at the time but looking back it definitely was not. We fell fast.  
            We never actually finished that project now that I think about it. We were runaways, didn’t go to school after we left Percy’s. I never said that. Stay in school. Annabeth wanted to kill us though. I remember her face when she saw us in school again. She actually thought we were dead. We almost would have been if someone hadn’t restrained her. We actually stayed at a motel for a while if I recall. Sally actually left Gabe to come with us. They got divorced soon after. She said it was the best decision of her life. I felt safe when I was with her. Paul’s a great guy really.  
            Okay where was I? Living in the motel having the time of my life. No not seriously. I hated it. I couldn’t stand being around Percy most of the time. He was so optimistic, so cheery, I described him as jubilant once. I couldn’t take it. After everything I just wanted to be alone, I wanted to be sad. It was more than just guilt and grieving, like I had to be sad even if I wasn’t like I owed it to Giovanna, it was- it was a dark time like I said. Sadness was my comfort. I knew what it was, I understood it. It made me feel at ease in a way. Percy hated it. He was always trying to cheer me up, make me happy. We were both right in our own ways, but we were both wrong too. We were kids.  
           Once the divorce went through Sally got the house back. No I did not live with Percy. We needed some time away from each other. I know it sounds horrible but it was true. I think I sort of associated him with that day too, even after those weeks. Or was it months? It’s all a blur really. Maybe I just have a bad memory. Needless to say we needed some time apart, and after Percy was confident I wouldn’t bolt at the first chance I was given he let me go. I bolted. I needed to go somewhere that didn’t of remind me of-well anything. Somewhere without Percy, without Giovanna, without High School. Somewhere that didn’t feel tainted I guess. I ended up running into the woods nearby. I felt like I could breathe for the first time. This was not the first time I got overwhelmed like that, and it wouldn’t be the last, but it felt so good. So calming.  
            I actually stayed at a nearby homeless shelter. I turned eighteen in those few months, it must have been months, and I was kicked out of the system. I was always excited to be out of the system, but I had a plan when I thought about it. I’d have a job, get an apartment. I’d be free. I had nothing. Sally spotted me what she could, but I wanted to be independent and I definitely didn’t want to be more of a burden to them. I saved it and stayed at the shelter until I got my third paycheck. With the money Sally gave me I could have gotten a cheap motel room and ramen noodles for a few weeks, but I was nervous and wanted to save, I wanted to be sure I could support myself. I stayed at the shelter and eventually I found a cheap apartment. It was in horrible condition. Horrible. Atrocious. God-Awful. But it was mine.  
            I don’t know what Percy was doing during that time. Worrying about me probably. No I never asked… we never really wanted to talk about that time. I was back in school by that time. Had been since three days into staying at Percy’s. Sally said she “cared about our education”, but I think it was more about our mental health, she wanted us to get away from the tragedy. Plus she probably wanted the house to herself for a while. Like I said, Annabeth wanted to kill us. We didn’t talk much for a while, Percy and I that is. We sat by each other but we didn’t talk. Well, I was still mute at the time, so there was that.  
            I never told you that? I was mute when I was younger. Selectively, anyway. I could speak physically, but mentally it was a challenge. I didn’t want to either. It was a defense mechanism. I wanted to be left alone. So no, I didn’t speak for a while. A counselor told me once it may have also been a side effect of my depression. I don’t know. I can’t believe I never told you that. That was the crux of my existence for a while. It defined me. Ha. Something about that feels good, looking back at who I was and who I am now.  
            The rest of high school went on with nothing of real consequence happening. I still didn’t speak, but it wasn’t the same. It was a crutch, I clung to it. I still don’t really know why, or maybe I do and it’s in my unconscious thought somewhere. Unconscious thought, Sigmund Freud look him up. Actually don’t. Don’t do that. Just trust me on this. Anyway I didn’t move on from it until sophomore year of college.  
            Percy and I did not go to college together, no. We did however go to colleges near each other. When did we start talking again? What do you mean? Oh okay right yes we weren’t really talking in high school. We were close the whole time, even without talking, but we started signing to each other a little later. I don’t remember when specifically, but it was still sophomore year because I remember signing to him during Mr. Burnner’s class and getting caught. I remember laughing when I looked up to see everyone staring at us. Jason was taking a video of us which I can only assume was to show to Annabeth to see what we were saying-err well signing. I became more comfortable with the school and the people in it. I went to Percy’s swim meets, and a few basketball games and football games here and there. I felt safe at school. Life was still rough, barely getting by, going from school to work every day, just to go back to a shitty apartment. Sometimes I just showed up at Percy’s. I had my own knock. Four knocks, a pause, then a fifth. Then I had a key. Home away from home. There were a few times Percy surprised me and showed up at my apartment. There was one time I went to his apartment and he went to mine. Sally laughed so hard. So did we.  
            I did laugh yes! Not that I would put it past my younger self to quit laughing all together. I would have out of spite. I was the worst.  
The first time I spoke? Oh that’s a good one. Well a good question. The moment itself had very little significance. I think that’s why I like it so much. It was natural, it was small. It’s wasn’t over dramatic or romanticized. Okay yes I’m getting to it calm down. It was winter break of freshman year and I was at Percy’s. I no longer had the apartment, no I stayed on campus. It was only marginally better. Freshman dorms are always the worst mark my words. Anyway I was at Percy’s place and Sally asked me if I wanted some soup. I said yes please. I know! You should’ve seen our faces though. She looked like she was gonna squeal she was so excited. Almost dropped the pot. I was stunned. I clasped my hand over my mouth in shock. Sally looked me dead in the eyes and walked over to me and hugged me. She had tears in her eyes. She said my voice was beautiful. I started to cry too. I felt so safe. Loved. It started to rain and I imagined it was the angels crying. Specifically my mother, sister, and Giovanna. I smiled. I kept saying it like an idiot too. While she was hugging me, even after she stopped. Yes please over and over. I was so giddy. I was terrified don’t get me wrong it felt so real. I felt more material. I felt heavy.  
Where was Percy? Ha! He was watching Game of Thrones on the couch. The kitchen was attached to the living room it was all one room, the kitchen was just a little alcove with tile instead on carpet. Of course I got him into it! You think he was good taste in TV shows? He was binging over break because I would not stop going on about it. Texting him, face timing, talking face to face, ok yeah signing face to face. Anyway I was always telling him he should watch it, it was great. He hated it he gets attached to all the characters that die. He actually has a knack for that. He always gets attached to the one who dies. I make sure not to like the ones he likes.  
            What did I study? You really don’t know? I became a social worker! That wasn’t the plan of course, I wanted to major in psychology and go into research. Not counseling no. Like I said I didn’t fully break out of my shell until sophomore year. I didn’t plan on speaking. I was speaking to Sally and Percy of course, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper every now and again. I did make some friends in high school! Some others in college too. I didn’t speak to the college ones as much though. Still being new to speaking and all. Well not new, but it had been so long. SO what actually got me to start speaking again? A combination of things I guess. I felt comfortable. I moved on from everything, as much as you can anyway. I was happy. I was confident, that’s important too. Mostly though, I needed to speak for a grade. I needed to take public speaking to get my degree. So that pushed me. I was terrified. I spent so many night skyping Percy signing and saying my speech to him. I ended up signing during my first speech, but my professor let it slide since I was a little bit of a special case. Back to my career path, I decided I wanted to help kids stuck in the system, make kids feel safe, feel loved. I didn’t want them to feel the way I felt. Percy studied teaching. He wanted to be the teacher he never had, specializing in sign language. He taught hard of hearing and deaf students as well children with other disabilities. He also taught sign language as a class at the community college. I believe he acted as one child’s personal translator once. Some of his students were my kids too.  
            When did Percy hear me for the first time, huh? Valentine’s Day freshman year second semester. We had tougher classes, Percy was just done with swimming season and we hadn’t talked or seen each other in a while. I surprised him by visiting. I wanted to be in his dorm when he got back from class but I got lost and accidently ran into him on my way. He laughed and ran after me. Yes we did one of those cliché running into each other’s arms hugs. Very romantic. Anyway I got down on one knee got out a small box, to which he screamed “Yes, Nico! Yes! Oh my god!” Why are you so surprised? I was the mute one, he just couldn’t hear himself speak. He already talked a little louder than necessary so when he yelled he was… he was pretty loud. Like standing in front of a loud speaker loud. Anyway I wasn’t actually proposing which was embarrassing. I wouldn’t say we were too young no. I knew plenty of college freshman who were already engaged actually. I’m getting to it relax! He opens the box and it is a small paper that says “I have something to tell you”, written on the back of an email confirming his appointment to get his cochlear implants. I also had flowers and chocolate. He cried. People were already staring. I think they still thought I was proposing because they clapped and awed when we hugged.  
           So yes I was there when he got his implants. Not in the room of course but I was with Sally and Annabeth in the waiting room. I let Sally and Annabeth be the first ones to say something to him. They insisted I go first but I thought it was ridiculous. Sally was his mother for Christ’s sake, Annabeth was still one of his best friends and they had known each other their whole lives. Percy was exuberant (like always). Sally walked up to him. “His Percy. Hi my baby. I love you, I love you so much. Like you wouldn’t believe. Look at you I’m so proud, Percy. So proud.” The hugged and started crying. Annabeth and I started getting teary eyed to. “Hey dumbass.” Percy and Annabeth laughed so hard. Her first words to him. Of course. “It’s so nice to talk to you using actually sentence structure.” Percy made a sour face. “I’ll have the rest of our lives to hassle you, it’s someone else’s turn.”  
            I wasn’t nervous. For once I wasn’t. I thought I would be I really did. “I love you Percy.” Those were my first words to your father. Dorky and cliché I know but they were true. I couldn’t think of anything after that, Percy was the hopeless romantic. I love some roses and chocolates sure, but Percy loves rom-coms, poetry, the works. He’s such a sap. He hugged and cried and laughed and Percy realized he could hear himself too when he whispered I love you back.  
From there we graduated, got jobs, got an apartment, got a dog and a cat (yes Hades and Persephone, Percy wanted a dog, and I agreed, but I fell in love with Persephone the moment I saw her her sad eyes and clipped ear), eventually we got a house (yes the one we are in right now, crazy right?), got married and got two beautiful children. I wonder who they could be because they’re certainly not the two sitting in front of me right now. Have you seen them? There’s Ethan, he’s the oldest. He’s too smart for his own good, always getting into trouble, has his father’s trouble-maker grin. Then there’s Madeline, she’s the younger of the two. She’s got wild hair and even wilder eyes. She can talk her way out of anything. Loves poetry just like her sap of a father.  
            Are you two content now?  
           “You’ve had a hell of a life”  
           “Tell me about it, and it’s not even over yet.”  
            The keys turn in the lock and the kid’s ears perk up. Their other father is home. They bolt up to greet him. Probably to ask how much of the story is true, or to fill in gaps in my knowledge. I smile to myself remembering a time when I swore to myself I would hate him for the rest of my life. Never have I been so happy to fail. I hear footsteps creaking in the hallway behind me. Hades bolted down the stairs to greet Percy. I got up from my chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. This fic always sat in the back of my mind. It was a road block, I felt I couldn't write a new fic until this one was done. Looking back it was... well it was something. It felt rushed and unnatural so it was hard to pick back up. I stopped writing for a few reasons. One, I was busy. Classes were getting tougher and I couldn't keep up. Two, pick up after a cliff hanger is hard, especially when you don't have a clear plot for the story. It could have gone so many ways. I was thinking about having Nico's father show up at some point, I think after Giovanna died. I was going to have Nico and Percy run away from their problems together. It was unrealistic. I tried to make it more realistic in this chapter. Three, I was writing this fic to cope. I was depressed and mute myself at the time, and once I wasn't I didn't want to think about it. I thought I would regress if I went back to that dark place, so I didn't. I've grown a lot since then. I hope you guys like it, I hope it gives you some closure, even if it wasn't what you were looking for. It feels...right. If you have any questions about anything message me or talk to me in the comments. I tried to tie up all the loose ends but I might have left somethings untouched. I wrote this as much for myself as I did for you, so I really do hope you enjoy it.


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